Foulkes & Sons, cigars Season 4 Episode 1

Our broadcasts began as a act of spirited defiance in the face of the evil of the coronavirus. Our rallying cry ‘fighting the virus one Corona at a time’ rang out in ancestral hovels the length and breadth of her Majesty’s realm (Oh all right then at least our ancestral Hovel and maybe the stately home occupied by our sole, fanatically loyal viewer) Now as our sceptrr’d isle lurches into yet another period of national crisis with shortages of everything from Behikes to blood tests we are back with a bumper harvest of nonsense Yes. At times of national crisis you can really rely upon Foulkes and sons to act as a Pharos of futility In the keep-calm-and-panic-buy spirit of our era we advise on what cigars are already impossible to find while doing all we can to frantically lay our hands on as many cigars as possible before we head to high ground and await the final apocalypse. We did consider turning over this broadcast to a public information film on how to get an HGV licence in 15 minutes but instead we resisted such frivolity in favour of something more useful and offer our thoughts on the new partagas anejado We look shortages fearlessly in the eye , even as we run out of gas for our Dupont lighters. We briefly consider the heretical step of lighting our cigars with a petrol lighter , only to realise that the national shortages of petrol preclude even this. As queues hundreds of metres (or As we are encouraged to say post-Brexit ‘yards) long from outside Davidoff on St James’s Street we urge the business secretary to take decisive action and appoint a cigar czar to ensure that emergency supplies of Havanas are available with as little disruption as possible. I impart valuable paternal advice to Max based upon my own childhood during the 70s, when power cuts were promoted in the press , when shopping was conducted by candlelight , and when rats the size of dogs roamed the streets of London. Elsewhere we talk about the possibilities for harnessing the non-renewable energy of cigar smoke and ponder the wisdom of a fleet of submarines drawn by seahorses