Mean Girl Mom Culture: Why It Happens [Psychologist Dr. Noëlle Santorelli Explains]

Mean girl culture doesn’t necessarily end when we grow up. For many women, it just follows us into motherhood. As the kids head back to school, Emily sits down with clinical psychologist Dr. Noëlle Santorelli to unpack mean girl mom culture and the relational aggression that can show up in adult female friendships, mom groups, school communities, youth sports, and even group chats. The episode explores why modern motherhood can feel so competitive, how social media and intensive mothering contribute to the pressure to perform, and why our need for belonging can sometimes bring out behaviors we don’t recognize in ourselves. Dr. Noëlle also shares practical ways to recognize patterns of relational aggression, decide when a friendship needs stronger boundaries, and protect your peace without automatically walking away from your community. The episode discusses: ~ What mean girl behavior can look like in motherhood ~ How competition, scarcity, and belonging influence mom friendships ~ The connection between social media and performative motherhood ~ Signs that a mom group or friendship may be affecting your mental health ~ Strategic distancing versus ending a friendship ~ How to avoid contributing to toxic mom group dynamics This episode is for every mom out there navigating her own sense of belonging while raising kids. Timestamps: 00:00 Mean Girl Mom Culture 01:30 Meet Dr. Noëlle Santorelli 02:37 Naming and Recognizing Relational Aggression 07:25 When It Becomes Culture 09:04 Performative Motherhood Pressure 15:25 Social Media And Scarcity 21:42 Identity Damage And Self-Policing 25:27 Kids Feel The Pressure Too 26:40 A Healthier Mindset Shift 31:38 Spotting Patterns Not Incidents 34:32 Strategic Distancing And Boundaries 42:22 Staying Mindful In Mom Groups 49:45 Protect Your Sparkle 52:15 Where To Connect And Wrap 🔗 Connect with Dr. Noëlle Santorelli: Instagram:   / drnoellesantorelli   TikTok:   / drnoellesantorelli   Website: https://www.drnoellesantorelli.com ✨ Let’s keep the convo going: Follow Emily on Instagram →   / honestlyemilyrose   Follow the podcast on TikTok →   / thesparkleprojectpod