4: I Lost Myself Trying To Be A Good Wife I Pat Smith & Ludmila Woodruff I Pursue You

What if the love you've been searching for can't begin until you stop performing for it? In PART 1 of this deeply personal episode of Pursue YOU, Pat Smith sits down with relationship coach Ludmila Woodruff to unpack the hidden beliefs that quietly shaped her marriages, her identity, and the way she learned to seek love. Together, they explore how childhood experiences influence adult relationships, why so many women lose themselves trying to be "good enough," and how the need for approval can turn into a lifetime of performing instead of belonging. As Ludmila gently challenges Pat's long-held beliefs, a powerful realization begins to emerge: maybe the relationship that needs the most healing isn't with someone else, it's with yourself. KEY POINTS 00:00 – Introduction 02:49 – Why Pat refused to let divorce become her identity. 05:00 – The relationship lessons most women were never taught. 07:57 – How to raise daughters without passing down shame. 11:43 – The parenting approach that builds emotionally healthy kids. 16:45 – Pat asks the question that changes everything: "What was my part?" 22:19 – Why self-love determines the love you accept. 26:19 – The childhood moment that taught Pat to perform for love. 30:13 – The identity crisis that comes after the roles disappear. 35:00 – Why healthy love feels safe, not exciting. QUOTES "When women are in a performative state, and they are dating or married, it never works out." – Ludmila Woodruff "I still believe in love... but this time, I want to get it right." – Pat Smith GUEST RESOURCES Ludmila Woodruff www.ludmilawoodruff.com IG | instagram.com/ludmilawoodruff RESOURCES Pat Smith IG |   / patsmithty   PURSUE YOU is produced by EPYC Media Network (visit at https://www.epyc.co/)