There's a Name for It: Your Primer on Coercive Control

Welcome back to Season2!! Dr. Royster opens season two of Kids First Co-Parenting with a foundational lesson on coercive control, explaining why it’s often missed in the moment and why it matters so much during separation and co-parenting. She breaks down the patterns behind coercive control, how gaslighting causes people to doubt themselves, and the ways it can continue after divorce through parenting, finances, and access to kids. In this episode, Dr. Royster offers a clear, practical framework for recognizing coercive control in everyday life—especially for people who find themselves thinking, “Nothing that bad ever happened.” She also emphasizes that when a situation is unsafe or abusive, support and safety planning must come first. KEY TOPICS Coercive control is a pattern, not a single incident. It involves ongoing efforts to dominate someone and strip away their independence, confidence, and trust in their own reality. Why coercive control may not become clear until separation, divorce, or co-parenting begins. How gaslighting causes people to question their own memories, instincts, and perceptions. Financial control, including restricted access to money, constant scrutiny of spending, and using finances as punishment. Monitoring and surveillance through location tracking, phone checks, text-message scrutiny, and demands for explanations. Isolation and the gradual erosion of relationships with family, friends, and coworkers. Rewriting reality, shifting blame, and portraying the targeted person as unreasonable. Micro-rules and unpredictability that create the feeling of constantly walking on eggshells. Using children as messengers, spies, leverage, or an audience. How coercive control can continue after divorce through communication, schedules, expenses, and the children. Why naming coercive control is an important part of healing and protecting children. Where to seek help when coercive control overlaps with domestic violence or an unsafe situation. https://www.learnwithlittlehouse.com/... is my membership community for moms navigating high conflict coparenting. Monthly workshops, real strategy, and a group of women who genuinely get it, because they're living it too. It's where you stop doing the hardest job of your life alone. Join us. One thing before we get into it. I'm a psychologist, but I'm not your psychologist, and I'm definitely not your attorney. This show is education and support, not therapy or legal advice. So please take what's useful, and for anything about your actual case, talk to your own team. AND If you are experiencing domestic violence or feel unsafe, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at * 1-800-799-7233 * or text * START * to * 88788 ( * Support is free and confidential.)