Is That Me or Is That the Old Man? Family Patterns in Business

When Tom Skotidas clashed with the brother he ran a business with, they could go weeks without speaking. Now a family business psychotherapist, he can see where that anger came from. Tom brought his brother into his LinkedIn training agency when it took off. They were brothers, colleagues and co-owners at once, or as Tom puts it, three nervous systems in one. Years later, Tom chased his long-held passion for psychotherapy. His brother still runs the business, and their relationship is strong. Tom talks Shane through how patterns learned growing up get replayed in the boardroom and what an adviser should do when the next generation asks them to intervene. Shane also ends up answering a few of Tom's questions himself. Next time an old argument flares up in your family business, it might be worth asking whose pattern is running the conversation. Chapters 00:00 Welcome to My Shout 01:01 From LinkedIn Leads to Psychotherapy 05:19 Noticing Grief in the Room 09:55 Going Into Business With His Brother 12:30 What Sits Underneath the Anger 19:03 Why Telling Them to Stop Doesn't Work 29:01 When One Person Starts to Change 35:18 His Brother Runs the Business Now 38:16 The Question Shane Never Asked 44:17 Triangulation and the Empty Chair 52:40 Today's Shout: Vittoria Coffee Today's shout was Vittoria Coffee, a family-owned roaster in Sydney. Vittoria Coffee: https://www.vittoriacoffee.com/ About Tom Skotidas Tom Skotidas is a family business psychotherapist and the director of everpath. Working with individuals, key pairs and groups, Tom helps business families resolve entrenched conflict patterns, repair relationships and thrive as a system. He is also the author of the newsletter Family Business Therapy. Website: https://www.everpath.com.au/ LinkedIn:   / tomskotidas   YouTube:    / tomskotidas   Follow My Shout wherever you listen. Apple Podcasts: https://myshoutpodcast.com/apple Spotify: https://myshoutpodcast.com/spotify More episodes: https://myshoutpodcast.com/episodes General information only, not therapy or professional advice. If anything in this conversation brings up something difficult for you, you can reach Lifeline on 13 11 14 or at https://www.lifeline.org.au/ #MyShout #FamilyBusiness #Psychotherapy