I Had My Reasons | Medieval Tavern Music for D&D · Comic Folk Song with Lyrics

An original comic folk song with lyrics — medieval tavern music for D&D nights, sung by Silas Halfpenny over hurdy-gurdy, tin whistle and a boot-stamp on two and four. A man is caught being decent in front of witnesses, gives one mercenary reason in his defence, and the whole room turns it into a competition. From the songbook of Silas Halfpenny, entry the twenty-eighth. It began with a mare. The carter's grey went down in the cold and I sat up with her three nights, and on the fourth she stood, and there were witnesses to every hour of it. I want it understood that what I wanted was the cart. A man wants a cart. That is the whole of my defence and I have never had a better one. The trouble is that Wat heard me give it. Wat has been hauling two pails up from the well since the winter Alys's arm went wrong, and Wat will tell you he does it because he likes the cold, and because he wants first go at the water before the horses touch it. The house came down on that. Then Hob was in on top of Wat. And that is how it started, and I could not make it stop. By the third hour there was a rule, though nobody had said it aloud: name the decent thing you were caught at, then name the worst reason you had for doing it, and the ugliest reason carries the night. I have never seen men work so hard to be thought poorly of. Gil carried Sim's boy three mile through the sleet and swore blind it was only to be rid of the noise of him, and the room gave it to Gil, and I sat there with nothing left to top it. Nobody asked me a question for an hour and I never once stopped answering. Marta stopped pouring to listen, the one time, and then went back to pouring. That is the whole of the entry. The rest is in the song, and I would rather you found it there. Good for a tavern scene, a long D&D night, or any table where a man is explaining himself at length and nobody has asked. Every reason I gave was true. Not one of them was why. — Silas Halfpenny ━━━━━━━━━━ LYRICS ━━━━━━━━━━ Nobody has asked me a question for an hour, and I am still answering. I had my reasons. Here is another one. Nobody is writing them down. Marta stopped pouring to listen, once, and went back to pouring. And the table has gone quiet in a way I have never liked. Three nights in the cold with the carter's grey mare, and she stood up on the fourth, and I was there. That is not kindness. I want the cart in the spring. A man wants a cart. A man sits up with a thing. I had my reasons, and every one was bad! (He had his reasons!) Give us another - the lowest you've had! (He had his reasons!) It's the ugliest reason that carries the night — WORSE THAN THAT! Then Wat is in before I'm done - he's been at the well by dawn, hauling two pails up for Alys since the winter her arm went wrong. And his reason is he likes the cold. And he never liked her much. And he wants first go at the water, before the horses touch. And the house comes down on it, and Hob is in on top, and that is how it started, and I could not make it stop. I had my reasons, and every one was bad! (He had his reasons!) Give us another - the lowest you've had! (He had his reasons!) It's the ugliest reason that carries the night — WORSE THAN THAT! I have never done a thing in my life I could not send a bill for. I sat up with that mare because a carter talks, and a carter talks to towns. I want the road warm ahead of me. I want a bed I have not paid for. I want to be owed in places I have not been yet. That is the whole of me, and there is nothing under it. Ask any man who has had it from me in writing. Then Gil came in with the worst of the lot, and he had it planned - he carried Sim's boy through the sleet the whole three mile from the ford, and he only did it, he says, to be rid of the noise of him. And the room gave it to Gil. And the game was won. And I had nothing left. So I took my supper up, and I set it down in front of the man, and I said: there. Now he owes me. Now I have got him for the year. And I sat back to an empty board and made them all watch me do it. Then Wat shoved his bread at Hob. And Alys filled a cup she never owed. And the whole house was doing something decent at somebody, and shouting what they got for it, so loud you couldn't hear a word. I had my reasons, and every one was bad! (He had his reasons!) Give us another - the lowest you've had! (He had his reasons!) It's the ugliest reason that carries the night — WORSE THAN THAT! I had my reasons, and every one was bad! (He had his reasons!) Give us another - the lowest you've had! (He had his reasons!) It's the ugliest reason that carries the night — WORSE THAN THAT! There. Not one kind word said in here all night, and not one owed. Somebody write that down. (He had his reasons.) (He had his reasons.)