No, It Didn't (Alt. Ver.)

I listen to you speak Every phrase rehearsed to sound sincere I listen to you weep But nothing in your voice was ever here Begging for attention you buried in me So please understand when I tell you to go away When I don't have anything else to say When every word you left me with stayed So search for an excuse And someone to believe you Down on your knees with nothing to lose You want me to feel what you never went through But I kept every knot that you taught me to tie And I know where they tighten I know where they bite I listen while you explain Like it changes the shape of the pain I listen and you want forgiveness But my hands are tied And my mouth tastes like blood from trying not to speak So please understand when I show you the places you left me behind Where I suffocated all alone, where I learned to survive What used to feel like something I could breathe in So search for an excuse And someone to believe you Down on your knees with nothing to lose You want me to feel what you never went through But I kept every knot that you taught me to tie And I know where they tighten I know where they bite I’ve heard it all before Every tone you refused to own You don’t get to rewrite it now Just because you’re alone You don’t get to come back clean You don't get a say in anything You don’t get to call this closure When I’m still living with it All of this now Who did you think I was You thought I'd come around Does it sound different backwards Or does it still land the same way There’s a weight to it now Would it have mattered if it never made a sound or does silence just not sit right The shape of it changed but it didn’t move So what exactly is being conveyed the words or the part that stayed Is it softer now or just easier to carry Because it's still there still presses in still takes up the same amount of space So where does it go when it’s finally said And what changes when nothing does So search for an excuse And someone to believe you Down on your knees with nothing to lose You want me to feel what you never went through But I kept every knot that you taught me to tie And I know where they tighten I know where they bite But all right... I forgive you Did it sound real Did it change anything