The Gith & The Gull

A rowdy Luskan sea shanty • For drunken sailors, doomed pirates, and very unfortunate ears Best sung by a chorus of half-drunk sailors, with stomping boots, pounding tankards, and a fiddle that’s seen better days. Verse I — The Storm on the Horizon Oh, the moon shone pale on the Trackless Sea, And the wind blew hard from the north, When a Gith with a grin and a lightning spell Came sailing to put us forth! He wore no crown and he feared no god, Had a storm in his wicked hand, And a satyr lass with a voice like a mule Was the terror of every land! Chorus — Heave Ho! Heave ho, ye scurvy dogs, heave ho! There's thunder above and a banshee below! The Gith brings the lightning, the Gull brings the pain, And the pirates of Luskan won't sail home again! Yo-ho, let the black flags fly! There's a storm in the sea and a shriek in the sky! If the Gith don't sink ye with a bolt from the blue, The Gull will sing a verse, and the sea will take you! Verse II — The Gith's Wrath Now the Gith stood tall on the mizzenmast, With his robes all snapping and torn, He raised both hands and the heavens cracked, And the sea spat fire and storm! A bolt struck the captain clean off his feet, Another split open the sail, Then the Gith cried, "Stand and face your doom!" And the wind blew straight through the rail! But the Gull stood proud on the quarterdeck, With her lute and her cloven feet, She cleared her throat, and the crew went pale— For they knew what was next to meet! Chorus — Heave Ho! Heave ho, ye scurvy dogs, heave ho! There's thunder above and a banshee below! The Gith brings the lightning, the Gull brings the pain, And the pirates of Luskan won't sail home again! Yo-ho, let the black flags fly! There's a storm in the sea and a shriek in the sky! If the Gith don't sink ye with a bolt from the blue, The Gull will sing a verse, and the sea will take you! Verse III — The Ballad of the Gull She strummed her lute with a confident grin, And she sang of a mermaid queen, But the notes came out like a rusted hinge Being dragged through a slaughterhouse clean! The first mate wept and the helmsman jumped, The parrot abandoned the ship, Three krakens surfaced to beg for death, And the captain bit through his lip! The Gull sang high, then she sang down low, Like a troll with a toothache sore, And the Gith yelled, "BY THE NINE HELLS, STOP!" But she launched into verse number four! Verse IV — The Mutiny That Never Was The pirates cried, "We'll surrender the gold! Take the rum and the silver plate! Take the ship, take the crew, take the captain's boots, Just don't let the satyr sing straight!" But the Gull only smiled and she tapped her foot, Said, "My dears, I've barely begun!" Then she struck one chord on her battered lute— And the whole crew jumped overboard as one! The Gith just sighed as the pirates swam, While their treasure went down with the tide, "Another fine raid," said the storm-born mage, As the Gull took a bow at his side. Bridge — The Tavern Warning So if ye sail from Luskan with a hold full of gold, And ye hear a strange wind from the west, If the clouds turn green and the gulls fly south, Then ye'd best put your courage to rest! For a crack of thunder means the Gith is near, And a dreadful tune means the Gull, And if ye hear her warming up her voice— STUFF YOUR EARS WITH THE SHIP'S OWN WOOL! Final Chorus — Louder, Drunker, Faster! HEAVE HO, YE SCURVY DOGS, HEAVE HO! THERE'S THUNDER ABOVE AND A BANSHEE BELOW! THE GITH BRINGS THE LIGHTNING, THE GULL BRINGS THE PAIN, AND THE PIRATES OF LUSKAN WON'T SAIL HOME AGAIN! YO-HO, LET THE BLACK FLAGS FLY! THERE'S A STORM IN THE SEA AND A SHRIEK IN THE SKY! IF THE GITH DON'T SINK YE WITH A BOLT FROM THE BLUE, THE GULL WILL SING A VERSE— AND THE DEVILS WILL COME FOR YOU! Outro — The Last Known Verse Oh, the Gith is a terror, the Gull is a curse, One brings the storm and the other brings worse. The Luskan Sea whispers their names to the foam— The Gith and the Gull… And no pirate sails home. From somewhere beyond the fog, a lute begins to play. ... “NOW, WHO'S READY FOR MY SOLO?”