Audrina Patridge's Mom Delivers Inspired, Well-Lubricated Monologue at Beso

A highly inebriated Mrs. Patridge dished out some frank verse last night in front of Beso and spilling the beans to some juicy deets on her daughter, Audrina: she's a Polish Catholic f*ckingfull-on Italian who's strong and going on through her next open door. She smashes Lauren Conrad's "fashion sh*t" and tells a passing stranger that Dancing With the Stars is the number one show. Thanks, Mrs. Patridge!