dark_cloud - At War With Who I Am (Official Lyric Video)

Join this channel to get access to perks:    / @dark_cloud8818   Title: At War With Who I Am Lyrics by dark_cloud Audio by Suno/dark_cloud Image by Image Creator from Designer Image editing by dark_cloud Video editing in Shotcut by dark_cloud ===================================== Always picking apart whatever I do Always finding fault with every choice This anxiety is too hard to subdue Pulling me apart in my own voice Always making a list of what I failed Always dreading another lonely day Never counting the times I prevailed Just all the chances I’d thrown away It felt like nothing ever went right It felt like hope was never in sight I never saw the good in what I’d done Just everything I’d lost or hadn’t won I gave myself permission to let go But something inside me was saying no When every single reason had withdrawn Some part of me kept saying, ‘I’ll carry on Always doubted every word I said Always thought all I do is harm Never counting the days I got ahead Only one’s I fell apart at every false alarm It felt like nothing ever went right It felt like hope was never in sight I never saw the good in what I’d done Just everything I’d lost or hadn’t won I gave myself permission to let go But something inside me was saying no When every single reason had withdrawn Some part of me kept saying, ‘I’ll carry on Who would I be without the blame? The constant need to feel ashamed Without every unforgiving rule? Without treating myself so cruel? But if someone else lived the life I led Would I repeat the cruel things I’ve said? Condemn them for the things they lack? Told them there was no way back? How many years have I refused to see The damage anxiety was doing to me Convincing myself no one gave a damn Spending so long at war with who I am! It felt like nothing ever went right It felt like hope was never in sight I never saw the good in what I’d done Just everything I’d lost or hadn’t won I gave myself permission to let go But something inside me was saying no When every single reason had withdrawn Some part of me kept saying, ‘I’ll carry on I wish I could silence every doubt Find a way to shut the anxiety out But even if these worries never cease Maybe one day I can find some peace