Why You Keep Saying Yes When You Mean No

Why do you say yes when you mean no, even after you understand where the habit comes from? In this video I share why I think that keeps happening, and four tests you can use to check whether you're safe with someone, including yourself. The four tests are Being Seen, Being Heard, Being Valued, and Being Protected. I also cover how to check them by watching what people do over time, how to tell an unsafe person from an immature one, which behavior makes someone unsafe right away, and where to start if you've never had a safe person at all. ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ 📖 THE BOOK The Space Between: Creating Safety in Your Relationships by Daniel Mullenax The book walks through all four tests in more detail. → Get it on Amazon: https://a.co/d/07fKTNUH ✉️ SUBSTACK I write more about safety, relationships, and change on Substack. It's free. → Read it here: https://substack.com/@authordanm ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ IF YOU NEED HELP (US resources mentioned in the video) If leaving someone or setting a limit could put you in danger, please get help making a safety-first plan. National Domestic Violence Hotline Call 1-800-799-7233, text START to 88788, or chat at https://www.thehotline.org If you're under 18 and you're not safe at home, tell an adult, and keep telling adults until someone does something. Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline Call or text 1-800-422-4453, or visit https://www.childhelphotline.org If you're thinking about ending your life 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: call or text 988, or chat at https://988lifeline.org If you're in immediate danger, call 911. Outside the US, https://findahelpline.com lists free helplines by country. To find a counselor or therapist near you: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/th... ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ CHAPTERS 0:00 Why old habits keep coming back 0:50 Why these habits are so hard to change 1:40 What feeling safe means 2:17 Test 1: Being Seen 2:37 Test 2: Being Heard 3:02 Test 3: Being Valued 3:22 Test 4: Being Protected 4:03 How to check the tests 5:07 Unsafe versus Immature 6:20 Behavior that makes someone unsafe right away 7:01 If you need help 7:28 Where to start 8:37 The Gentle Return 9:00 What this is and what it isn't 9:21 The space between 9:48 The book and Substack ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━ I'm Daniel Mullenax. I'm a writer and I'm not a therapist. What I share here is the personal system I built to create safety in my own life. None of it replaces therapy, and some people will need professional help too. Music samples: FluidR3 GM soundfont by Frank Wen, licensed under CC BY 3.0: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/... #EmotionalSafety #HealthyRelationships #Boundaries