Chronic Illness Changed His Life. Curiosity Helped Him Build a New One | Dr Jeffrey Bone

What happens when chronic illness changes your body, your identity and the life you thought you were going to have? Dr Jeffrey Bone knows what it is to search for answers, not be believed, and eventually realise that getting his “old life” back may no longer be the goal. After becoming seriously unwell, Jeffrey discovered that exposure to black mould in his workplace had triggered Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome (CIRS) and uncovered an underlying immune disorder, Common Variable Immune Deficiency (CVID). But this conversation goes somewhere much deeper than diagnosis. Jeffrey is a psychologist, chronic illness coach, author and host of *To The Bone: Conversations on Pain, Illness, and Meaning*. He brings an unusual perspective to chronic illness because he understands it both professionally and personally. We talk about the loneliness of invisible illness, medical dismissal, chronic pain, brain fog and fatigue, and what happens psychologically when the person you used to be no longer matches what your body can do. Jeffrey said something during our conversation that stayed with me: “We always got back our old life... until this time.” I knew exactly what he meant. When illness becomes chronic, there can come a point where continually fighting to return to the person you were becomes exhausting. So what happens if, instead, you become curious about the life that is still available to you? That took us into a conversation about acceptance without giving up, separating our worth from productivity, finding small things we can still control, and why Jeffrey believes action can help dissolve anxiety. And sometimes that action doesn't have to be enormous. It might be writing. Cleaning a barbecue. Working out how to fix a fountain. Or looking at one messy drawer and thinking, “I can do something about that.” There was something beautifully human in that for me. Because when your body is doing things you cannot control, finding one small place where you still have choice can matter enormously. We also talk about something I wish more people understood about chronic illness. You don't have to fix us. You don't need the perfect words. You don't need to recommend another supplement, treatment or yoga class. Sometimes the greatest gift is simply to listen, care, be present and remember that the person living inside that unpredictable body is still there. And towards the end of our conversation, we arrive somewhere I wasn't expecting. Hope. Not pretending everything is wonderful. Not denying pain. Hope as something to reach towards when life has become suddenly different. IN THIS EPISODE • Chronic illness and the loss of your old life • Jeffrey's experience of black mould exposure and CIRS • Common Variable Immune Deficiency (CVID) • Invisible illness, chronic pain, fatigue and brain fog • Medical dismissal and not being believed • The loneliness of living with symptoms other people cannot feel • Chronic illness and loss of identity • Self-worth when you can no longer be as productive • Acceptance versus giving up • Curiosity as a psychological tool • Why small actions can restore a sense of agency • What NOT to say to someone with chronic illness • What people living with chronic illness actually need • Existential psychology, mortality and meaning • Finding hope when life doesn't return to normal ABOUT DR JEFFREY BONE Dr Jeffrey Bone is a psychologist, chronic illness coach, author and host of *To The Bone: Conversations on Pain, Illness, and Meaning*. His work combines professional knowledge with his own lived experience of chronic illness to help people navigate pain, fatigue, uncertainty and the psychological impact of a life that has unexpectedly changed. Jeffrey: drbone.live ABOUT SUDDENLY DIFFERENT Suddenly Different is about the moments that change us. The diagnosis. The loss. The discovery. The decision. The moment life divides into before and after. Through honest conversations with people whose lives have taken unexpected turns, Leigh-Anne Sharland explores what happens when life doesn't go according to plan and how we find our way through what comes next. If this conversation makes you think of someone who is living with chronic illness, invisible illness or a life that has become suddenly different, please share it with them. And if these are the conversations you've been looking for, subscribe to *Suddenly Different*. #ChronicIllness #InvisibleIllness #ChronicPain #CIRS #SuddenlyDifferent