Narcissist Uses You (Starts 16:20): Unfinished Mommy Splitting

Topic Starts 16:20. In early childhood, borderlines and narcissists fail to split the “dead mother” into good and bad objects or “breasts” (because she is all bad), so they split themselves instead (into a true self which is all bad, and a false self which is all good). The narcissist tries to complete the early failed maternal splitting with his intimate partner (repetition compulsion) in three stages: 1. She is all good (idealization), he is all bad; 2. Co-idealization (if she is good, he must be good, too); and 3. Introjection (internalization/incorporation of the partner) which render him all good. The narcissist constantly tests his intimate partner in order to make sure that she is, indeed, all good (an outcome of post-traumatic hypervigilance). When she invariably and inevitably fails his tests, he reverses course: she is now all bad. To avoid narcissistic injury to his grandiose false self and to avoid co-devaluation – he discards her promptly. Find and Buy MOST of my BOOKS and eBOOKS in my Amazon Store: https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60... 0:00 Narcissism overview 2:44 Administrative updates 4:29 The toxicity of hope 5:58 Personal reflections 8:03 Language and terminology 10:02 The relationship cycle 13:34 Borderline behaviors 16:24 Types of splitting 20:24 Fairbairn's ego theory 24:05 Childhood development 29:25 Roots of narcissism 32:21 False self formation 35:01 Contradictory self-states 36:42 Introjects and fantasy 38:29 Snapshotting process 41:56 Outsourced ego functions 45:32 Ego incongruence 49:15 Dissociation phenomena 50:42 Projection and introjection 54:27 Repetition compulsion 56:52 Phases of splitting 1:00:00 Testing and devaluation 1:04:08 Literary analysis 1:10:17 Psychopathy and imitation 1:13:34 Contempt as a driver