The Psychology of People Who Prefer to Be Alone

The Psychology of People Who Prefer to Be Alone. You had a great night with friends, and three hours later your battery is at zero. In 2017, psychologists Sointu Leikas and Ville-Juhani Ilmarinen tracked people five times a day for twelve days and found that being sociable lifts your mood right away, and leaves you more tired about three hours later. Not only introverts. People in general. In this video: • The 3-hours-later study, and why acting outgoing still feels good in the moment • Why we seek solitude after feeling left out (and why it's a human reflex) • Freedom or escape: the quick 4-question test • The one line between healthy solitude and loneliness • 4 ways to protect your alone time without losing the people you love, plus a one-week experiment Chapters: 0:00 Why you need to be alone after a good night 0:36 The 3-hours-later study 1:17 Maya's party 1:46 Reason 1: Being 'on' has a delayed cost 3:14 Reason 2: Solitude is how we repair 4:39 Reason 3: Freedom, not fear 5:35 Quick test: freedom or escape? 6:03 The line between solitude and loneliness 7:44 Way 1: Plan the landing 8:39 Way 2: Choose it out loud 9:37 Way 3: Freedom or escape? 10:31 Way 4: Don't let the days pile up 11:17 Bonus: find your own number 11:55 A month later 12:32 Everything in one minute When you need to be alone, is it mostly freedom, or mostly escape? Tell me in the comments. Research mentioned: Leikas, S., & Ilmarinen, V.-J. (2017). Happy now, tired later? Extraverted and conscientious behavior are related to immediate mood gains, but to later fatigue. Journal of Personality, 85(5), 603-615. Fleeson, W., Malanos, A. B., & Achille, N. M. (2002). An intraindividual process approach to the relationship between extraversion and positive affect. JPSP, 83(6), 1409-1422. Ren, D., Wesselmann, E. D., & Williams, K. D. (2016). Evidence for another response to ostracism: Solitude seeking. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 7(3), 204-212; Ren, D., Wesselmann, E. D., & van Beest, I. (2021). Seeking solitude after being ostracized: A replication and beyond. PSPB, 47(3), 426-440. Burger, J. M. (1995). Individual differences in preference for solitude. Journal of Research in Personality, 29(1), 85-108. Tse, D. C. K., Lay, J. C., & Nakamura, J. (2021). Autonomy matters: Experiential and individual differences in chosen and unchosen solitary activities from three experience sampling studies. SPPS. Weinstein, N., Vuorre, M., Adams, M., & Nguyen, T.-v. (2023). Balance between solitude and socializing: everyday solitude time both benefits and harms well-being. Scientific Reports, 13. Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227-237. This video is for education. It is not therapy or medical advice. If isolation keeps growing for weeks, talk to someone you trust or a professional.