Surrogate Stories: She Wanted to Choose Them, Not Be Chosen

What if the thing that decided your agency was not the compensation or the process, but who got to do the choosing? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Sydni, a single mom of two girls and a daycare center director in Alabama. The idea came to her during a fasting season at her church, when she went in asking what more she was supposed to be doing with her life. She sat with it for three days, then started researching, filling a notebook with every question she could think of before she ever spoke to an agency. This conversation covers what she found when she called around. The agencies near her told her that her profile would go out and someone would let her know when a couple picked her, and that did not sit right with her. She wanted to be part of that decision. She also noticed which questionnaires got an instant reply and which one took a few days and came back personalized. Sydni talks about the second profile she opened, the letter inside it that brought her to tears, and a first transfer that worked. Then the birth: a March snowstorm in Alabama, tornado warnings where her intended parents live, an intended mother with thirteen backup travel plans, and Sydni sitting in triage taking pictures and joking around at five centimeters dilated. Only one person was allowed in the operating room, and she gave that spot to the baby’s mother instead of her own sister. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to hear what to ask an agency before you commit to one, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "There is not a compensation that can cover what you are putting your body through." -- Sydni What You’ll Learn ● How the idea first came to her, and why she waited three days before saying yes ● What her thirteen-year-old already knew about surrogacy, and where she learned it ● How she explained it to a five-year-old, who became her loudest supporter ● The question she asked every agency, and the answer that ruled several out ● What a fast questionnaire response told her, and what a slow one told her ● Why she chose an agency rather than going independent Guest Bio Sydni is a gestational surrogate, a single mother of two daughters, and a daycare center director in Alabama. She carried and delivered a baby for intended parents she chose herself after reading their letter of intent, and the two families remain close. She is candid about what surrogacy asked of her as a working single parent, about what she looked for in an agency before she trusted one, and about the additional considerations she weighed as a Black woman choosing to carry a pregnancy for someone else. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to know what to look for, and what to ask, before choosing who to do it with. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com (https://familyinceptions.com/) Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com (https://thefertilitycafe.com/) Related Episodes What to Look For in a Surrogacy & Egg Donation Agency https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/... Eggs Over Easy: Black Women & Fertility https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/... Surrogate Stories: Two Moms Carrying for Two Moms https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/... Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.egg... Stay Connected Instagram   / fertilitycafe   Facebook   / fertilitycafe   LinkedIn   / fertility-cafe   Pinterest   / fertilitycafepodcast   TikTok   / fertilitycafepodcast   YouTube    / @fertilitycafe   More Resources Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes    / @fertilitycafe