Before You Change the Recipe

Thought Partners S3 E5: Before You Change the Recipe What holds steady while everything else moves? Ryan Poirier returns to the sandbox with his husband, John Ralston, a chef who has baked cheesecakes for almost 40 years. In one year they took two new jobs, spent seven weeks at a Las Vegas pastry school, and built a chocolate Super Mario with no recipe. They talk with Ed and Paul about what anchors you through change, why a recipe made a thousand times is what lets you try something new, and grieving a routine you didn't know you'd miss. *What's your change anchor? *Tell us on the Thought Partners Discord, along with the questions about change you want us to take on next. 👉   / discord   We're on X too: https://x.com/ThoughtPtnrsPod Timestamps 00:05 Welcome: Ryan's back, and John joins the sandbox 02:27 Who John is: chef school, 40 years of cheesecake, the Joker's Bakery 04:59 Ryan's update: a new job, the researcher hat back on, and why he called 10:19 Does a change anchor exist? John: "Home is my ground zero" 11:23 "Do a recipe a thousand times before you change it" 12:18 The move west and seven weeks at The Pastry Academy 14:54 No recipe: sixteen chocolate Super Marios 16:51 Learning is hard; knowing isn't understanding 19:29 What do you hold onto when the process breaks? 21:40 Control what you can: setting up the space 24:48 Ed reorganized the whole kitchen 28:22 When change clouds your thinking 32:19 A new job in a kitchen that runs on chaos 35:34 Setting yourself up: The Empowered Learner 37:26 Scope, volume, and frequency of change 42:28 What's the practice? Phones, routines, and co-regulation 48:11 Situated, and six things to tell yourself before bed 52:07 Why always four cheesecakes? 54:30 Risk takers: new jobs, a new routine, and soup alone 61:05 What's the new routine? 65:14 An introvert in the sandbox 68:08 Ryan's researcher hat, curiosity, and asking for help 73:29 One takeaway each Try this week Name your anchor out loud. Then ask whether it's holding you steady or holding you still. Set up the space before the hard part of your day, the way John weighs every ingredient before he bakes. Shut it all down at the end of the workday: Ryan closes every window so the slate is clear. If a routine you loved is gone, ask what will take its place. That's Ryan and John's homework too. From the episode "When it comes to doing a recipe, you need to do it at least a thousand times before you change it." John "That emotion can cloud our ability to just have a moment, take a beat, realize this isn't the end of the world." Ryan "We were grieving what we had before." Ryan Mentioned The Pastry Academy by Amaury Guichon, Las Vegas The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt Situated by Angela Duckworth, discussed on Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant 10% Happier with Dan Harris Our guests Ryan Poirier is an educational psychologist and higher education leader, now doing institutional research for a community college district in Northern California. He was our guest in Season 2. LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/ryanpoirier John Ralston is a chef by training and a master baker in cheesecakes. He launched the Joker's Bakery in California, and now bakes about 500 cheesecakes a year on the side. Coming up New episodes every Tuesday. Next week, November 10: Episode 6. Hosts Ed Buchanan & Paul Tonden Music: "Momentum," original Thought Partners theme.