"WASTE, MAN!" - parody adaptation by the Marsh Family of Sam Ryder's Eurovision smashing "SPACE MAN"

Deep in our hearts, I think we all know that what we’ve been waiting all our lives is a song about sanitation and water regulation in England and Wales. So this is it. This is our parody of the magnificent song “SPACE MAN” that was a hit for the charismatic Sam Ryder and very nearly got the UK their first Eurovision Song Contest victory of recent times when he performed it in Turin in 2022 (and it features on his album “There’s Nothing But Space, Man!”). The song’s co-written with Amy Wadge and Max Wolfgang. It’s a firm favourite in the family and was played hundreds of times on our summer holiday playlist...as his followers from TikTok know, the guy exudes positivity and has an incredible range. Whereas the original is uplifting and soaring, we’ve dived down to a new low to tackle a subject that has been all over the news this summer and deserves continued attention: the dire behaviour of water companies deliberately abusing storm overflow regulations to offload thousands of tons of sewage into our rivers, lakes, and seas (including the Channel, near us). If you want to find out a bit about that, then check out this report: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/explainers.... It notes the current pollution warnings for dozens of beaches, and the national Environment Agency’s figure (probably an underestimate by some margin) that “raw sewage was pumped into rivers and seas about 375,000 times in 2021.” The organisation that is supposed to regulate all of this, OfWat, has launched cases but is clearly not on top of the issue. We also owe a shout-out to pop star and campaigner Feargal Sharkey for fighting hard to draw attention to the issue of pollution (see interview here esp. if you're a fan of 80s music: https://www.rollingstone.co.uk/politi.... We (used to) swim locally in beaches at Seasalter, Margate, and Broadstairs every year. We walk the dogs on the Saxon Shore Way and along Whitstable and Tankerton seafronts, and love spending time at Faversham Creek and Oare and along the Stour River, and visit sites at Chatham, Deptford, Sheppey, and beyond. There’s a lot of problems in the world at the moment, but polluting our own marine and riverine ecosystems and damaging biodiversity should not be one of them...and we’re pretty sure we’re not the only ones living near such episodes of dumping waste. ______________ Thanks as ever to the people who support our musical antics through Patreon (where you can see extras like out-takes and podcasts):   / marshfamilysongs   Do join us there, or just leave a tip at our tip jar at: https://paypal.me/marshfamilysongs. ______________ Lyrics to WASTE, MAN! If I was an aquanaut, maybe floating unaware And a broken half of someone’s turd was churning round down there I would get a scent of, like, rotten food or worse I would be fuming, and I’d want it to disperse If I was an aquanaut, I'd have a close-up view What circles round the bowl you don’t want coming back to you! Sewage floating past me, to flood riverbeds and shores It’s our effluent, and they’re discharging some more They’re dumping waste, man! Dumping waste, man! The stats are down on cleanliness Need some more controls Inordinate waste, man And the companies know If I worked for OfWat, I'd seek more oversight My regulation system would charge for spewing shite I’d be up there thinking ‘bout what they should be fined Not facing a hose ban, with pollution on my mind They’re dumping waste, man! Dumping waste, man! From Plymouth Sound to Dungeness See brown slicks and shoals There's nothing but waste, man It’s a hazardous flow Companies keep letting us down Monopoly services aren’t working out Not working out It’s coming out! They’re dumping waste, man! Pumping waste, man! It’s surging down your watercourse Toxins taking hold Inordinate waste, man, no Oh, it’s in the wrong place, man Nothing but, nothing but, nothing but waste, man Nothing but, nothing but, nothing but waste, man The sewage round the sea’s the worst It’s something to behold It’s a disgrace, man No-one wants overflow ____________________ Thanks, as ever, to all our supporters on Patreon, and we've listed our Howlers (the top category) below in recognition! Andy Riches AskewDread Carol Leff Cliff Hope Dave Lee David Patrao Derrick Brown Fassin Grandad Lew Michael & Emily Guadagno Sandy Uncle Mike