Do You Feel Shame for Wanting Change?

Have you ever felt ashamed for wanting your life to change—even when the life you had was something you worked incredibly hard to create? For much of my life, I carried an anchor of shame. Growing up in a family where I often felt unseen and unheard taught me to believe that I needed to achieve, provide, or make myself useful to be worthy of love and connection. Opening my salon began to challenge that belief. Through leading and encouraging others, I slowly learned how to lead myself, trust myself, and recognize that my worth didn’t depend on what I could do for someone else. But in 2021, when my husband Kyle and I decided to sell the life and businesses we had created and move to Spain, that shame returned. Wanting something different felt like rejecting everything I had worked for—and I was afraid to discover who I might be without the identities, productivity, and accomplishments that had protected me for so long. In this video, I share how I began releasing that shame and recognizing our decision as a radical act of self-love: an opportunity to live more authentically, align our lives with our values, and discover who we were underneath everything we had built. My healing journey hasn’t had a finish line. Estrangement, birthdays, holidays, and old memories can still reopen wounds I thought had healed. The difference is that my recovery time has become shorter as I’ve learned to trust, love, and care for myself. If you’re grieving a living relationship, feeling guilty for wanting change, or questioning whether your emotions are valid, I hope my story helps you feel a little less alone. Your feelings matter. Wanting a different life doesn’t make you ungrateful. Sometimes change is how we finally begin listening to ourselves. Thank you to Jen for inspiring me to share this story. I also want to acknowledge my husband, Kyle. Although I didn’t mention it in the video, he has always been my rock and has stood beside me throughout my healing journey. Growth is a collaborative effort. Find the people who help you feel seen, and consider working with a therapist who can help you explore your experiences more deeply. If you feel ready to GROW and discover more of who you are, I would be honored to support that process—helping you develop greater self-awareness and encouraging you as you learn to trust yourself along the way. RESOURCES YOUTUBE & WEBSITES Dr. Sherrie Campbell    / @dr.baldwin   Candace van Dell    / Канал   Mel Robbins    / @melrobbins   Emma McAdam    / @therapyinanutshell   Brené Brown https://brenebrown.com/ BOOKS • Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents — Lindsay C. Gibson • Unmasking Narcissism — Mark Ettensohn • Choose Wonder Over Worry — Amber Rae • How We Heal — Alexandra Elle • Feel, Don’t Flee — Hayley Kaplan • I Had to Raise Myself — Mara Ellison • Stop Letting Everything Affect You — Daniel Chidiac • Nothing Is Wrong with You — Cheri Huber • The Gifts of Imperfection — Brené Brown For humor, I also recommend David Sedaris. His perspective on family dysfunction is brilliant. PODCASTS • Hidden Brain • Ten Percent Happier • Narcissism Recovery Podcast • The Covert Narcissism Podcast MY MORNING WELLNESS ROUTINE • Headspace — Meditation app • Day One — A digital journal that makes it easy to maintain and search multiple journals • 365 Gratitude — Daily gratitude prompts, a supportive community, and courses focused on self-compassion If you’re working through estrangement, emotional neglect, depression, or unresolved family pain, consider exploring your experiences with a qualified therapist or another trusted source of support. This video shares my personal experience and is not a substitute for professional mental-health care. If this story resonated with you, I’d love to hear from you in the comments: Have you ever felt ashamed for wanting a change? #PersonalGrowth #FamilyEstrangement #EmotionalHealing #SelfTrust #AuthenticLiving