The Girl Who Never Fell

I learned to be quiet before I learned to speak, To hide all the bruises that nobody could see. I was only a child, but I carried the weight, Of a thousand little deaths that I couldn't explain. And everybody told me I was stronger than I knew, But nobody ever asked what I was going through. I grew up counting footsteps in the hallway, Learning when to hide and what not to say. I made myself smaller just to keep the peace, Put a lock on my heart, swallowed every scream. I thought that love was something you survived, That being hurt was just the price of being alive. So I wore a little smile like a beautiful disguise, While a little girl was breaking somewhere deep inside. Then I went to school and they gave my pain a name, Turned my differences to reasons I should feel ashamed. And when I thought that maybe I could start again, The world just found new ways to hurt me in the end. And I tried, God, I tried, To be everything they wanted me to be. But the harder that I fought to stay alive, The less of me was left inside of me. I am the girl who cried without a sound, Who learned to stand while falling to the ground. I carried storms that no one ever knew, And blamed myself for things I didn't choose. I'm made of broken pieces, scars beneath my skin, A thousand silent battles that I never let begin. And if you ask me how I made it through it all, I don't know how I survived — I just know I didn't fall. I didn't fall... No, I didn't fall... But God, I came so close to losing it all. I learned to fear the voices in a crowded room, To feel like every shadow meant that something bad would bloom. I gave them all my energy, my body and my mind, And went home every evening leaving pieces of me behind. I tried to build a future with these trembling hands, Tried to be the woman that nobody understands. I worked until my body said it couldn't take much more, Still feeling like a failure when I couldn't reach the door. And now I fight a war that doesn't leave a scar, Some days I don't recognize the person in the mirror anymore. I can hear the world around me, but I'm somewhere far away, Watching life go on without me, with nothing left to say. Sometimes I feel like I'm just living in a dream, Like I'm someone else's shadow, like I'm not really me. And I hate that I am fighting just to do the things they do, When they have no idea what it costs to make it through. And I'm tired of being brave, Tired of hiding all the cracks. Tired of giving all my love To things that never give it back. If I'm still here, why does it hurt this way? If I'm healing, why do I still break? I am the girl who cried without a sound, Who learned to stand while falling to the ground. I carried storms that no one ever knew, And blamed myself for things I didn't choose.