Quikscell — We Sell, You Fix! | BattleTech / MechWarrior | 80s Corporate Synthpop

🚀 QUIKSCELL COMPANY — BIG GUNS! SMALL PRICES! SATISFACTION SOLD SEPARATELY! 💰 Looking for affordable military hardware? Need a Scorpion tank, a missile carrier, or perhaps a Condor you can assemble yourself? Quikscell has you covered! 🎶 "Quikscell — We Sell, You Fix!" is a cheerful, shamelessly optimistic 1980s-style corporate advertisement celebrating one of BattleTech's most notorious military manufacturers. Questionable quality control, missing bolts, creative assembly instructions, and unbeatable prices — all presented with the enthusiasm of a salesman who knows exactly what he's selling! Because at Quikscell, every mechanical failure is another business opportunity! 💬 This song was created at the request of @user8881 in the comments! Thanks for the inspiration! 💖 SUPPORT HASTATUS CREATES MUSIC ON PATREON! Enjoying these BattleTech songs? Support the channel on Patreon and help keep the music coming! 👉   / hastatuscreatesmusic   🎶 AI-assisted music, lyrics, artwork and animation. Human creative direction, selection, editing and final production by Hastatus Creates Music. ⚙️ Fan-made tribute inspired by the BattleTech universe. BattleTech and MechWarrior are properties of their respective rights holders. This is unofficial fan content and is not affiliated with or endorsed by the rights holders. #BattleTech #MechWarrior #Quikscell "Quikscell — We Sell, You Fix!" Attention, citizens of the Inner Sphere! Looking for military-grade equipment at civilian-friendly prices? Your search is over! QUIKSCELL COMPANY! Big guns! Small prices! Satisfaction sold separately! Your quartermaster counts the cost, The war is long, the budget's lost. Your enemy has twice your tanks? Our sales division sends its thanks! A Scorpion for every road, A bargain on each cargo load! Sign here, initial page nineteen— The finest deal you've ever seen! Factory fresh, hot off the line, A little assembly makes it shine! Your mechanics need a thing to do— We ship the challenge straight to you! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! It's a perfect partnership, a brilliant mix! QUIKSCELL! Take your pick! Our prices are low and our sales are quick! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! Half the parts, twice the tricks! QUIKSCELL! Come what may, We'll sell you victory today! That Condor in the showroom gleams, The answer to your hover dreams! We'll pack it flat to save on space, Just grab a wrench and win the race! The turret's here, the engine's there, Those extra bolts? Consider them spare! Your crew can build it overnight— Just hope the manual got it right! Our service plan is crystal clear, Your finest technicians volunteer! A wrench, a prayer, a clever trick, And every bolt will finally click! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! It's a perfect partnership, a brilliant mix! QUIKSCELL! Take your pick! Our prices are low and our sales are quick! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! Half the parts, twice the tricks! QUIKSCELL! Come what may, We'll sell you victory today! And now, introducing our revolutionary Condor assembly kit! Every box is an adventure! Every missing part is an opportunity! Order yours TODAY! From Davion space to Marik skies, Our friendly salesmen advertise! The flags may change, the borders bend, Our purchase orders never end! Need missile trucks? We've got a stack! Just point them forward, then stand back! Whatever war you choose to wage, Our prices shine on every page! Dear shareholders, what a year! Our customer feedback is crystal clear! A missing bolt? A minor fuss! Just buy a spare — more cash for us! A broken tread? A chance to grow— Our parts division steals the show! We're here to serve, we're here to stay, And parts are just one click away! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! It's a perfect partnership, a brilliant mix! QUIKSCELL! Take your pick! Our prices are low and our sales are quick! QUIKSCELL! We sell, you fix! Half the parts, twice the tricks! QUIKSCELL! Come what may, We'll sell you victory today! Quikscell Company! Building trust, one replacement part at a time! Some assembly required. Terms and conditions apply.