Why Avoiding Conflict Is Actually Hurting Your Relationships | Priya Parker on ‘The Interview’

In her new book, “The Art of Fighting,” the conflict resolution facilitator Priya Parker argues that we would actually benefit from more fighting, and need to be a lot better at it. The book is a natural companion to her previous work, “The Art of Gathering,” in which she discussed how communal activities create closer bonds within social groups. This time, Parker is looking at ways in which intentional, thoughtful conflict within and between groups can be a pathway to greater connection. She and David Marchese talked about that counterintuitive idea and how to deal with some common workplace and family conflicts on “The Interview.” Read more: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/08/22/ma... [00:00] Introduction to Priya Parker and her work on conflict [03:03] What she means by “unhealthy peace” [05:52] Practicing "healthy heat" [07:57] Normalizing and reframing disagreements [12:51] When to leave a relationship [16:12] Deciding to engage or compromise [19:38] Power imbalances in conflict [21:48] Slack and corporate conflict [25:34] Political conflict and relational longing [28:26] Priya's personal approach to fighting [32:29] Engaging with conflict-ready partners [34:46] A conflict she's working on now [37:44] Revisiting Priya’s relationship with her father [41:03] Thinking about the role of gifts in society “The Interview” features conversations with the world’s most fascinating people. Each week, co-hosts David Marchese and Lulu Garcia-Navarro talk to compelling, influential figures in culture, politics, business, sports and beyond — illuminating who they are, why they do what they do and how they impact the rest of us. Subscribe to “The Interview”:    / @theinterviewpodcast   Discover the journalism Times subscribers get daily, free for your first month in The New York Times app. Download here: https://nytimes.onelink.me/Xpht/a6wzplra #theinterview #priyaparker #relationships