Living With A Fake Personality

7:58am in the car park. Engine off. You fix your face and walk in. Nobody would ever guess how you really feel. In high-pressure jobs, many people quietly build a second personality: confident, unshakeable, always fine. This video looks at six reasons that act is so exhausting, from running two people at once to slowly losing track of who’s underneath. Stay to the end for the research on secrets that shows where the real damage comes from. Chapters 0:00 The second job 1:14 Where the act comes from 2:10 Reason 1: Running two people at once 2:42 Reason 2: The gap between face and feeling 3:12 Reason 3: You never switch off 3:44 Reason 4: Nobody can help with what they can’t see 4:31 Reason 5: The stakes keep rising 5:06 Reason 6: Losing who’s underneath 5:42 Isn’t everyone a bit fake at work? 6:18 Where the real damage comes from 7:22 Back in the car park Research mentioned • Arlie Hochschild, The Managed Heart (1983) • Hülsheger & Schewe, On the costs and benefits of emotional labor: a meta-analysis (Journal of Occupational Health Psychology, 2011) • Slepian, Chun & Mason, The experience of secrecy (Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2017) • Slepian & Moulton-Tetlock, Confiding secrets and well-being (Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2019) Do you have a “work version” of yourself? What’s the biggest difference from the real you? Tell me in the comments. If you’re struggling, please talk to someone you trust or your GP. In the UK, Samaritans are available on 116 123. If this helped, subscribe for a new video every week.