Episode 11 - Can You Actually Change Who You Are?

FIELD NOTES // Episode 11 CAN YOU ACTUALLY CHANGE WHO YOU ARE? DATE: October 2026 LOCATION: Somewhere between self-improvement and accepting yourself OBSERVATIONS • Are our personalities fixed—or can we actually change who we are over time? • All three hosts identify as introverts who have learned to operate as extroverts when life requires it. But is that genuine change or just learning to perform differently? • Self-awareness may start change, but awareness alone isn’t enough. Lasting change requires a compelling reason to stick with it. • Type-A personalities face another challenge: knowing when improvement is healthy and when the constantly moving goalpost becomes perfectionism. • Sometimes growth isn’t changing yourself at all. It’s recognizing that something you once considered a flaw may actually be part of who you are. DISCUSSION This week, Brandon, Jarad, and Travis ask a deceptively difficult question: Which parts of ourselves should we actually try to change? They start with personality. Jarad describes himself as an introvert who is “paid to be an extrovert.” Travis argues we’re born with a starting point but remain malleable, while Brandon distinguishes between changing who you are and learning to perform differently when the situation requires it. That leads to self-awareness and behavior change. Recognizing a problem matters—but so does having a strong enough “why” to sustain change when motivation disappears. Travis talks about making habits easy to start: one page of journaling, 60 seconds of meditation, one small win that makes tomorrow’s win easier. The conversation then turns to perfectionism. Brandon talks about deciding which things deserve an A+ and which can be a B-. Jarad discusses catastrophizing and learning self-compassion. Travis introduces “measuring backwards”—recognizing how far you’ve come instead of only measuring the distance to an ever-moving horizon. KEY TAKEAWAYS → Personality may give us a starting point without determining our destination. → Learning to behave differently doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve changed who you fundamentally are. → Self-awareness starts change; a strong “why” helps sustain it. → Make new habits small enough that starting feels easy—and focus on keeping the chain going. → Not everything deserves an A+. Choosing where to spend limited time and energy matters. → Comparison can show us what’s possible, but constantly measuring ourselves against others can make genuine progress invisible. → Sometimes self-improvement means changing. Sometimes it means accepting yourself. LIGHTNING ROUND The guys get personal: a trait they’d change, a bad habit they’ve accepted, something they’ve failed to change, something they now appreciate about themselves—and what they hope never changes about each other. FOR FURTHER STUDY What are you trying to change because it would genuinely make your life better—and what are you trying to change because you’ve convinced yourself you’re supposed to be different? WHERE TO FIND US Brandon - https://www.linkedin.com/in/brmiddle/ Travis - https://www.linkedin.com/in/tlzimbelman/ Jarad - https://www.linkedin.com/in/jaradbacklund/ Jarad’s Writing - www.myoldnotebooks.com END OF NOTES