The Sanctuary We Foster

The idea for this piece came to me during a rehearsal with the ensemble I play in. It was the first day, and our director had asked us to introduce ourselves and share the reason that we love playing in band. There were a few responses that stood out to me in particular. Some enjoyed the learning new music, and there were others that felt they had a community to come back to and express themselves. After everyone had shared their thoughts, there was one question that he had stated rhetorically that had struck a chord with me that night. He told us too ask ourselves, "what am I doing to nurture that which you love?" This was something I don't believe I had ever asked myself, but it was something that - without me even realizing - latched onto a piece of me that I didn't even realize was dying out. Before I even knew it, this process of creation that I had tied a grand portion of my life to felt less like love, and more like labor. Composition became a chore rather than a means of coping with any tension in my psyche. When words had always failed me, my work always became the answers I was looking for, and I wasn't allowing that to happen. From that night onward, I promised myself to write because I want to write, not because I have to. Create because this is how I bring my thoughts into the world, and compose to nurture the sanctuary we foster.