Why Coping Skills For Kids Aren't Innate (And How to Teach Them)

Coping skills for kids are essential for helping children manage big emotions, handle stressful situations, and build resilience. E: 13 with Abby Horton In this episode of Parent Confidence Lab, Hans and Christina speak with Abby Horton, a child life specialist with more than a decade of experience supporting children and families through medical experiences, transitions, and everyday challenges. Abby explains why coping skills are not something children automatically master. Instead, they are skills that develop through practice, preparation, modeling, and support from parents and caregivers. She shares practical strategies to help children manage stress at home, school, in public, and during difficult transitions. The conversation also explores the important role parents play in co-regulation. Children often look to their parents to understand how to respond to stress, which means that modeling calm behavior, naming emotions, and practicing coping strategies together can make a meaningful difference. You’ll learn how to introduce coping skills during calm moments, before a child reaches peak stress. Abby discusses deep breathing, sensory tools, calm down corners, visualization, emotional vocabulary, and using books or children’s programs to model healthy coping strategies. The episode also covers ways to prepare children for stressful events and transitions. Abby explains how advance warnings, visual timers, predictable routines, and age appropriate preparation can help children feel more secure and better equipped to manage change. Parents will also hear practical advice for handling tantrums, deciding when to hold a boundary, and knowing when it is okay to let something go. Abby emphasizes that parents do not need to respond perfectly every time. Instead, they can consider their own emotional capacity, their child’s needs, and whether the moment is the right time for a teaching opportunity. Finally, Abby shares how parents can build resilience by allowing children to practice age appropriate independence, work through manageable challenges, and experience the confidence that comes from doing hard things with support. In this episode, we discuss: • Coping skills for kids • Helping children manage big emotions • Emotional regulation and co-regulation • Teaching children how to cope with stress • How parents can model healthy coping skills • Deep breathing and box breathing for kids • Sensory tools and calm down corners • Using books and television to teach coping skills • Preparing children for transitions • Managing tantrums and emotional outbursts • Knowing when to hold a boundary • Building resilience in children • Supporting independence through age appropriate tasks • Talking about emotions as a family • Time-ins instead of timeouts Subscribe to Parent Confidence Lab for more expert conversations about parenting, child development, emotional regulation, family relationships, and practical strategies for supporting children. #CopingSkillsForKids #EmotionalRegulation #CoRegulation #ParentingTips #ChildDevelopment #BuildingResilience #TantrumManagement #PositiveParenting #ParentConfidenceLab Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:15 Meet Abby Horton 01:02 Why Coping Skills Matter for Kids 01:45 Common Misconceptions About Coping Skills 03:34 Advice for Teaching Children Coping Skills 03:59 Why Crying Can Be a Healthy Coping Skill 04:33 When to Start Teaching Coping Skills 05:36 The Parent’s Role in Co-Regulation 06:38 How Parents Model Responses to Stress 07:43 Using Deep Breathing to Model Coping 08:37 Why Coping Skills Require Practice 09:28 Examples of Coping Tools for Kids 10:31 Practicing Coping Skills During Calm Moments 10:43 Deep Breathing, Books, and Children’s Programs 11:48 Sensory Tools and Calm Down Corners 12:47 Helping Children Name Their Emotions 13:21 Using Visualization to Help Kids Calm Down 13:51 Proactive Strategies for Emotional Regulation 14:27 Preventing Stress Through Preparation 15:38 Preparing Kids for Transitions 16:19 Using Warnings and Visual Timers 17:16 Preparing Children for Doctor Visits 18:13 Building Resilience Without Doing Everything for Kids 19:42 What to Do During a Mid Tantrum Moment 20:23 Helping a Child Move to a Safe Space 21:45 Building Resilience Through Everyday Tasks 22:43 Age Appropriate Ways to Build Resilience 23:29 Using Visual Schedules and Checklists 24:26 Learning Through Play 25:10 Managing Tantrums When a Child Is Tired or Hungry 27:22 When Should Parents Hold a Boundary? 28:31 Giving Yourself Permission to Pick Your Moments 28:57 Practicing Coping Strategies as a Family 30:01 Talking About Highs and Lows of the Day 31:46 Advice for New Parents 33:47 Keeping Resilience as the Parenting North Star 34:08 Helping Children Build Resilience 35:03 Time-ins Instead of Timeouts 35:36 Closing Thoughts