Honda DIY Gone Wrong - Misfire on EVERY Cylinder! - Bizarre Diagnosis

I've seen some weird stuff, but this might just take the cake. 2009 Honda Accord barely runs with misfire codes on every cylinder. Sorry, my editing software stripped out some subtitles for reasons that are still unknown. This is the Launch tool I have: https://amzn.to/471Asbs There are newer models out now but they all use the same software. This is the borescope I use: https://amzn.to/48g9AVS