Why 8 Out of 10 Isn't Good Enough in Dating (The Mac & Cheese Rule) | Love Lab Live

Is it really settling if your partner has 8 of your 10 non-negotiables? In this Love Lab Live book-dive episode, Michelle Larkin of Queen Moose Coaching and Know Love Inc. founder Edward L. Fairley unpack the chapter 'Stick to Your Grocery List' from The Handbook for Increasing Your Relationship IQ — using a true mac-and-cheese story to show why swapping out ingredients (or standards) changes the whole result. What you'll learn in this episode: What your 'grocery list' really is — and why it's built on morals, principles, and values, not height, income, or looks The difference between a true non-negotiable and an 'I would hope so' Why every relationship hits a 'wilderness' season, and why only someone who meets your list is worth walking through it with The real-life 'liver and onions' date that shows why small lies about preferences are big red flags How to spot alignment without handing over your list — through direct questions, indirect observation (movies, shows), and how someone treats the waiter Why 'special treatment' early in dating is a flag, not a compliment — consistency is the green light Why settling is lying to yourself, how a small ignored issue snowballs into resentment (the domino effect), and why it keeps you repeating the same relationship Why choosing yourself is not rejecting anyone else — it's what lets the right person choose you Timestamps: 0:00 Welcome + the book 1:22 The mac & cheese story (when you substitute the ingredients) 5:04 What the grocery list really is 6:50 Shallow lists vs. lasting qualities 8:42 'I would hope so's' vs. non-negotiables 10:32 Heart posture + mindset 11:42 Self-love: you can't know what you want until you know who you are 13:41 Settling: the 8-out-of-10 trap 16:18 The true story behind the chapter 20:10 The liver & onions date 25:09 Why the wilderness makes your list non-negotiable 32:21 How to discover alignment without sharing your list 33:04 Indirect observation (the movie test) 38:18 How they treat the waiter 41:43 Your list says you're worth it 48:20 Settling is lying 52:37 The domino effect: why you repeat the same relationship 1:01:06 Choosing yourself isn't an attack on anyone 1:04:12 Closing Hosts: Michelle Larkin — Relationship coach, Queen Moose Coaching, co-host of Love Lab Live. Edward L. Fairley — Transformational therapist, founder of Know Love Inc., creator of the Know Love Simulation and author of The Handbook for Increasing Your Relationship IQ. The book is available as a free PDF and audio download, plus more free relationship tools, at knowloveinc.com Part of the ongoing Love Lab Live series — more chapter deep-dives from the Handbook to come. (Related: our Chapter Two book dive on why the less you give, the more you receive.) #NonNegotiables #SettlingInRelationships #DatingAdvice #LoveLabLive #KnowLove #RelationshipAdvice #RelationshipIQ #SelfLove #ChristianRelationshipAdvice #DatingTips #BookClub