Jo Humme Kisi Ne Bataya Nahi - Episode 4 Part 2

WE MAY GROW UP, STEP OUT AND BUILD A WORLD OF OUR OWN… BUT HOW MUCH OF OUR MOTHER QUIETLY STEPS OUT WITH US? Continuing our conversation on Maa — Our First Guru, Dr Suninder Tung took us from the child's earliest years to what happens as the child gradually encounters the larger world. She described the mother as the child's first point of contact — the one who gently leads the child beyond herself: towards the father, other relationships, the world and, progressively, even a spiritual path. She holds our hand, but also teaches us to accept change and take our first confident steps away from her. Dr Tung explained that the first eight years are particularly significant in shaping character. We may resist or dislike certain things our parents do, yet unconsciously we are observing and absorbing far more than we realise. An interesting question arose: What happens when the child steps outside the influence of home? Dr Tung spoke of two worlds — the outside world of friends, teachers and other influences, which can be uncertain and unpredictable; and home, where parents ideally represent safety and security. Another question brought an interesting perspective: If the same mother raises two or three children, why do they turn out so differently? Because no two children actually experience the same mother under exactly the same circumstances. The first child initially enjoys undivided attention. With the arrival of the second, it can feel almost like a little “king being dethroned.” As the family grows, the mother's attention gets shared, while the youngest often receives greater protection and has more people around to observe and learn from. The love may be equal. The experience is not. And therefore, none of us becomes a perfect copy of our parents. Dr Tung also reminded us that the parent–child relationship is one of the nurturer and the nurtured and, like every relationship, needs boundaries. In today's world, when we say “I am my child's friend,” blurring the distinction between parent and friend can create a cognitive shift in how the child understands that relationship. And then psychology gave way to personal memories. Many of us smiled while admitting that things our mothers did which irritated us when we were young somehow reappear years later — in our own words and actions. The conversation also reminded us that Maa may be our first Guru, but she is not our only one. For some, a mother-in-law became an important influence — teaching cooking, running a home and managing relationships. And then there were our teachers, in school and higher education, who shaped much more than our knowledge; they shaped our conduct and our way of looking at the world. Perhaps that was one of the loveliest realizations of the day: Our first lessons begin at home, but our Gurus keep appearing throughout our lives. And years later, when we catch ourselves doing something exactly the way Maa did, we realise — the lesson had entered us long before we knew we were learning it. #MeljolAmritsar #JoHumeinKisiNeBatayaNahi #MaaOurFirstGuru #Maa #OurFirstTeacher #MotherChildBond #ConversationsThatMatter #LessonsFromMaa #TeachersWhoShapeUs #MeljolConversations