'i'll mis you with every beat of my heart'

I made a free audio from it if you look at my channel you'll find it. I'm disappointed when I made this audio I thought I'd finally was going to make a beautiful video and now I see the result and I'm like bluh that not what I thought it would be, but yeah it better be good enough, I've had some major spoilers while searching for audio's so it better be worth it!! still wanted to tell you this. So continuing on. this was the hardest thing I've ever done: no, I'm not talking about making this audio and video, even though that was hard tho. but I'm going to sell joey, not because he did anything wrong!! but I just don't have the time from him anymore, he just deserves so much more than I can give to him, I've been stuck with this feeling for quite some time now. its just.. I don't deserve such an amazing horse when I am like this, the stuff I deal with at home does quite get to me you know? The divorce of my parents.. I have 2 sisters that need care and school is busy next year will even be bussier and a day only has 24 hours, I'm running out of time.. Joey is the best horse I could ever ask for. He has put up with so much of my frustration and stuff it's hardly fair. I'll forever feel bad about that. he has been the main thing in my life ever since I've had him, but with every little thing that happend it started to get more and more negative. And I can't shake the feelings inside me, I just can't go on like this. I feel pathetic and weak but I just can't anymore. And when I'm taking care of joey like this than it's also just selfish of me he deserves sooo much good and fun and I am going on a slow search for the person who can give him that. That all I can give him right now. This may came very unexpected for everyone because I always said I would fight for him. But I think deep down I already knew for a long time that there is no way, there is no fair option. So in a way I'm still choosing him. I'm choosing what's best for him. Even if that means saying goodbye to the best thing in my life. I wish things were different, I really do I love this horse so much I can't just.. please don't go and comment telling me I'm making the wrong decicion. i've been giving this some thoughts and I've tried many things. I really don't wish him gone.. I just hope it's for the best.