Play To Win 2010 Toronto // Ride The Cyclone

Cast: Ocean O'Connell Rosenberg: Rielle Braid Constance Blackwood: Kelly Hudson Noel Gruber: Kholby Wardell Ricky Potts: Elliot Loran Misha Bachinsky: Carey William Wass Jane Doe: Sarah Jane Pelzer This audio contains: • PTW Credits to justcheckingteehee in Reddit Lyrics: daddy said; oh daughter, dear, you fill my heart with pride your words, so pure, you’re almost round, the truth is on your side! but daddy dear, they cleaned our clock, a zillion points to none may i use the phone? aw pumpkin, you need to speak to one of your friends? no, i’m calling mom! so i called Grace and i told her the full story you did what? i spoke from my heart about the facts incentive! if you do well at this debate, you can come live with me me me me plot point! get the pen! she told me something that goes a little something like this the art to win an argument's ain’t changed much over time you read and rule your public first and then you change their mind if the judge looks like a hippie your foe’s a right-wing nut if the judge seems like a holy hostile pentecostal then your foe’s a godless hedonistic slut Porno! demonize your opponents with personal attacks quote some fake authorities and unrelated facts create a false dilemma like, “you’re with us or you ain’t” ask the pot a loaded question “how can you say that adolf hitler was a saint?” oh, the tale of human history is one of damn’ed battery it works on the mob everytime! this candy-coated recipe of black and white morality that’s how we like our swine the next day at the school debate, my mom’s advice applied we were like marine corps stealing cookies from girl guides the judge gave us a standing O one kid broke down and cried and the winner of the uranium city debate is Roseburg and that other girl yeah, we won by a frickin’ landslide look, I even got a trophy we got a trophy? don’t touch it you’ll break it in this world, there’s just one sin don’t play the game unless you play to win (you play to win) why does my opposition feel the need to defend the pedophiles? (you play to win) and the winner of the debate is Rosenburg! (you play to win) i’m very upset, my brother just died but you don’t have a brother shut up! (you play to win) and she done it again, Rosenberg don’t tell me there’s a better use of your ambition than to wipe the floor with your own competition mommy dearest said there’s only one real mission play to win x3 dad was there, and so was mom, for the national debate but where are my opponents they were half an hour late and then this kid rolls in with a wheelchair and begs us to forgive he needed an emergency blood transfusion turns out he only had three weeks left to live debate topic: are human beings ultimately good? (you play to win) Are you kidding me? he’s in a wheelchair (you play to win) how are you gonna beat this one? shut up, connie! (you play to win) what would glenn beck do? (you play to win) and he’s blind too? and the opposition calls miss Rosenberg! my heart began to flutter tears welled in my eyes when I looked unto my father as he hung his head and sighed and then I saw an angel in blinding light and sparks with a hammer and a sickle it was a winged Karl Marx and he said “child, heaven is awesome and everything’s free i’ve been palling ‘round with jesus turns out he’s a communist, just like me" and we got somethin’ to tell you (tell us, comrade) and we got somethin’ to sing to you (sing it, comrade) you wanna hear it? (yeah!) Do you feel the spirit? (yeah!) can I hear it two times? (yeah yeah!) when you wrestle with poop (win or lose) oh, listen to me child (sing these blues) gonna get on your shoe (win or lose) you’re gonna be defiled (gonna be defiled) when the game is over, you’re knockin’ on heaven’s door it’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keepin’ score you wanna kick out the crutches from a cr1p*l3? (oh no) or push an old lady down the stairs? (sweet lord!) steal a piece of candy from a cryin’ little baby? as long as you’re winning, who cares! (who cares) take out the kid in a wheelchair that’s the road to perdition soon you’re gonna wind up a back-stabbing, ass-grabbing, rubberneck politician! when you wrestle with poop (win or lose) oh, listen to me child (sing these blues) it’s gonna get on your shoe (win or lose) you’re gonna be defiled (gonna be defiled) and when that game is over and you’re knockin’ at heaven’s door, it’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keeping score! i said it's only your soul alone that’s keepin' score (the lyrics repeat) Ahhh-Ahhh! it’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keeping score! who’s keeping score (who’s keeping score) x5 it’s only your soul, your soul alone that’s keepin’ score