Wolves on the Mountains of Heaven

Two months ago, my wife and I had to leave the international school we worked at. The school's decisions made it impossible to continue working in that environment, and as a result, we won't be able to live in this country anymore. It's the only home my daughter has known and it's the place my wife grew up. This song is a processing of the grief, pain and betrayal we have experienced; we hope it helps others who have experienced similar wounds. What I share below is my story, a part of what brought the song to life, though it is only one of many stories that all say the same thing. Over the past 2 years, I have been emotionally and spiritually abused, and in one case physically harmed by a staff member of Tien Shan. In November, I started to experience symptoms of PTSD and began receiving counseling. I asked for help from the school, who said that what happened to me was serious and would be taken seriously. Though they acknowledged the potential for inappropriate behavior and attempted to change my work experience, they did not share about the investigation with the staff member's organization or the Tien Shan community. From the beginning to the end, I was strongly encouraged to "reconcile" with my abuser, to move on. The institution was protected over the individual. The pressure built over the months that followed. I had to go to work every day with the person that had harmed me, having not received any real help from those who said that what I had experienced was traumatic. One can only hold these weights for so long. In sharing this, I have no desire to "tear the school apart" or "sink the boat", things I was accused of when I dared to speak out about the harm done to me. I share this as a eulogy of my time at Tien Shan. I had many incredible and life-altering experiences working at the school. But it became so clear toward the end of my time that the goal or mission of any organization or institution can become the god of that org or institution. And that means that there will be no price too high to make sure the machine continues to function. Tien Shan will never reach its full potential until the culture of secrecy, peace-at-all-costs, and abusive leadership is utterly transformed. I will miss you, Tien Shan. Let light shine in the dark places, and you will 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 light. Thanks again to  @infamoti  for his incredible work on this song.