I Wanna Throw Hell

!Lyrics! (Intro) Twenty years old... Old enough to know better, Old enough to pay for my mistakes... But apparently not old enough to make them. Got prescriptions on the counter, Got people making plans for me, Got a whole damn life I'm supposed to live... Just tell me when I'm allowed to breathe. (Verse 1) Got a bottle full of medication That I'm supposed to take each day, But nobody ever asks me If I even want it that way. Got a list of expectations, Got a schedule I didn't choose, Everybody's got an opinion On the things I'm allowed to do. And if I pack a bag and leave, There's a plan to bring me back, Like I'm some runaway teenager Instead of someone who's grown past that. I'm twenty, not twelve, But apparently that's hard to see, Everybody's got control of something That should belong to me. (Pre-Chorus) And I know, I know, If I think about it now, I'll spend another damn day angry, With a thousand thoughts too loud. So I'll swallow down the frustration, Put a smile across my face, 'Cause I don't wanna lose another day To a life I can't escape. (Chorus) I WANNA THROW HELL! I'm sick of asking for permission! Sick of living in a world Where somebody else makes my decisions! Got my taxes, got my guardians, Got my whole life on a leash, I'm twenty fucking years old! When do I get to be ME?! I WANNA SCREAM! I WANNA BREAK OUT OF THIS SPELL! I'm not asking for a kingdom, I just want my life as well! And if I think about it too long, I'll ruin everything today... So I'll scream into the silence And try to push it all away! (Verse 2) Got guardians handling my taxes, Handling things I should control, Gotta ask before I do something, Like I don't own my fucking soul. Every little thing's a question, Every choice becomes a scene, I'm old enough to understand it, But not old enough to be free? And what happens if I disagree? What happens if I say no? Does everybody start reminding me Of all the things I don't control? I don't need another lecture, I don't need another plan, I just wanna make decisions Without asking someone's hand. (Pre-Chorus 2) And I know, I know, That tomorrow's coming fast, But I'm tired of being angry About things I cannot change right now. I don't wanna spend my morning Letting bitterness take hold, But it's hard to feel like living When your freedom's been put on hold. (Chorus) I WANNA THROW HELL! I'm sick of asking for permission! Sick of living in a world Where somebody else makes my decisions! Got my prescriptions, got my guardians, Got my whole life on a leash, I'm twenty fucking years old! When do I get to be ME?! I WANNA SCREAM! I WANNA BURN THIS FEELING DOWN! I'm tired of being treated Like I can't turn my life around! And if I think about it too long, I'll ruin everything today... So I'll scream into the silence And try to push it all away! (Bridge) Maybe I don't wanna fight today, Maybe I just wanna feel okay. Maybe I don't wanna talk about The things that make me wanna shout. I know the anger won't fix anything, I know the past won't disappear, But does anybody understand How exhausting it is to live like this year after year? I don't wanna hate my morning, I don't wanna waste my night, I don't wanna spend my twenties In a never-ending fucking fight. I just want a little freedom, A little room to make mistakes, A chance to build a life that's mine Without somebody holding the reins. (Breakdown) TWENTY YEARS OLD! Not a child! Not a damn little kid! I KNOW I HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES! I KNOW THERE'S SHIT I HAVE TO FIGURE OUT! BUT WHEN DOES MY LIFE START FEELING LIKE IT'S MINE?! (Final Chorus) I WANNA THROW HELL! I'm done pretending I'm not angry! Done pretending that it's normal To feel trapped inside your family! Got my prescriptions, got my guardians, Got a thousand things to say, But I'm not giving all my happiness To another ruined day! I WANNA LIVE! I WANNA MAKE MY OWN MISTAKES! I WANNA HAVE A LITTLE SAY IN EVERY SINGLE MOVE I MAKE! I'm twenty fucking years old! And I'm still trying to find my way! I'm not letting all this anger Steal another fucking day! (Outro) Maybe tomorrow I'll be angry again... Maybe tomorrow I'll scream. But today? Today I just wanna live. I'm twenty years old... Can I please have my twenties?