If Your Cat Ever Brings You A Gift At 3 AM… SAY THANK YOU

If your cat ever brings you a gift at three in the morning: say thank you. Out loud. Do not ask where it came from. Do not ask if it is still alive. And never throw it away while it is watching. There are 7 rules. You have already broken one. You were asleep. This is an analog horror survival guide for the thing every cat owner has stepped on: the mouse by the bed, the bird on the pillow, the sock that is not yours. What to say, what never to scream, why it always lands exactly where your feet go, and what it means when the gift is still moving. CHAPTERS 0:00 If your cat ever brings you a gift at 3 AM 0:19 A small, proud sound on the stairs 0:29 Rule 1: Say thank you 0:45 The chirp is calling you 0:55 Selected. The best one. 1:09 Something has been left on our desk 1:19 Rule 2: Do not throw it away in front of it 1:51 Rule 3: If it moves, do not scream 2:12 Rule 4: Wear slippers at night 2:33 Rule 5: Do not close the window 2:54 Rule 6: Check your shoes 2:59 Rule 7: [in your shoe] 3:14 This file is not about the gift 3:28 How mother cats teach 3:54 These are not gifts 4:00 Rule 7: If it ever brings one that is still alive 4:14 Rule 8 ABOUT THESE FILES Catwise publishes survival protocols for life with a cat: calm, dark, and slightly unprofessional. Every video is one file, one strange thing your cat does, and a short list of rules. Subscribe to Catwise before you reach lesson three. This is a work of fiction. Your cat probably just loves you. #cats #analoghorror #catbehavior