You Think You're Being Helpful… But You Might Be Overfunctioning

Welcome to Nerdy Psychology! What is overfunctioning, and how do you know if you're doing it? Overfunctioning happens when we take responsibility for things another capable adult could manage on their own: reminding, fixing, rescuing, and smoothing things over until we're exhausted and resentful. In this #NerdyPsychologyExplains episode, Dr. Angel breaks down the psychology of overfunctioning and underfunctioning in relationships, families, and workplaces. You'll learn: • The difference between helping and rescuing • Why overfunctioning is often about our own anxiety • What research says about overparenting, family accommodation, and invisible support • How resentment can signal you're carrying what isn't yours • Three tools to help without taking over Nerdy Psychology uploads new videos every Tuesday and Friday. Like and subscribe to keep getting curious with us. Workbook Your Next Chapter, a clinician-developed workbook for pausing, reflecting, and making intentional change: https://a.co/d/0cQapzAn Timestamps 0:00 Are you helping too much? 3:19 Air traffic control 5:30 What overfunctioning actually is 7:11 The problem with being too good at it 9:09 When helping removes the lesson 12:12 Whose anxiety are we managing? 14:34 Helping vs. rescuing 17:26 The resentment test 19:44 Don't swing to the other extreme 21:05 What you can do 23:00 Closing thoughts Research References Bolger, N., Zuckerman, A., & Kessler, R. C. (2000). Invisible support and adjustment to stress. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79(6), 953–961. Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. Jason Aronson. Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227–268. Lebowitz, E. R., Marin, C., Martino, A., Shimshoni, Y., & Silverman, W. K. (2020). Parent-based treatment as efficacious as cognitive-behavioral therapy for childhood anxiety: A randomized noninferiority study of Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 59(3), 362–372. Lebowitz, E. R., Woolston, J., Bar-Haim, Y., et al. (2013). Family accommodation in pediatric anxiety disorders. Depression and Anxiety, 30(1), 47–54. Lerner, H. G. (1985). The dance of anger. Harper & Row. Maisel, N. C., & Gable, S. L. (2009). The paradox of received social support: The importance of responsiveness. Psychological Science, 20(8), 928–932. Schiffrin, H. H., Liss, M., Miles-McLean, H., Geary, K. A., Erchull, M. J., & Tashner, T. (2014). Helping or hovering? The effects of helicopter parenting on college students' well-being. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 23(3), 548–557. #psychology #mentalhealth #relationship #peoplepleasing #codependency #boundaries #familydynamics #resentment #overfunctioning #helpingvsrescuing #familysystems #NerdyPsychology #NerdyPsychologyExplains This channel is your go-to resource for fun, quirky, and dynamic conversations about psychology and mental health. Whether you're looking to reduce stress, manage anxiety, practice mindfulness, or learn practical self-care strategies, we break down complex topics into relatable and actionable tips. Each week, we dive into one topic, sharing three key takeaways to help you live a healthier, more balanced life. Disclaimer: The content shared on this channel is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. If you have questions or concerns about your mental health, please reach out to a licensed professional in your area. Free Parenting Resources: 5 Things Every Parent Should Know get you guide sheet here: https://subscribepage.io/anxious-kid-... Dr. Angel also has online workshops available here for more specific tools in areas of parenting, personal and professional growth: https://angel-s-site-c905.thinkific.com/ Connect with us by email at: admin@strengtheninglives.com Resources for Immediate Support: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA): Dial 988 or visit 988lifeline.org Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (Available in the USA, UK, and Canada) Domestic Violence Hotline: Call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ Support): Call 1-866-488-7386 or text START to 678678, or visit thetrevorproject.org Together, we can demystify mental health one topic at a time! Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and join the conversation in the comments. #MentalHealth #Wellness #Psychology