Ep 39: How to Repair After Conflict ("I'm Sorry You Feel That Way" Doesn't Cut It)

You snapped at your kid, felt bad, and then “apologized” with, “I’m sorry, but you should have listened the first time.” Or your partner says, “I’m sorry you feel that way” mid-argument, and it makes things even worse…. In this episode, couples & sex therapist Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy and pelvic floor physical therapist Dr. Alexandra DiGrado talk through why so many apologies miss the mark and what genuine repair looks like in parenting, partnerships, and everyday life. Dr. Rebecca also shares the story of a public blowup with a school crossing guard that still makes her cringe and what she did afterward to make it right. Not all apologies are created equal. Tune in to learn the difference between a "sorry" that just clears your own conscience (...we’re all guilty of it) and one that actually protects your relationships for the long term. **You’ll learn**: Why a “but…” totally cancels out your apology Why over-apologizing (especially as women) can make your words lose their meaning Why a “forced march” doesn’t teach kids empathy (and what does) How shame just keeps you stuck instead of helping you repair Why modeling repair, not perfection, is what actually shows your kids how to handle their own conflicts Why feeling guilty about losing your cool doesn't mean you're a bad parent. It means you care enough to try better **Tune in if**: Your partner says, 'I'm sorry you feel that way' mid-argument, and you want to hit the ceiling You lost your temper recently and aren't sure whether to move on or address it You’re stuck between “I shouldn’t have yelled” and “but that behavior wasn’t okay either” when it comes to your kids You didn’t grow up with parents who apologized, and you're trying to figure out how to do it differently **Helpful resources**: Parents in Love: A Guide to Great Sex After Kids by Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy https://www.amazon.com/dp/1683738551? — including more real-life rupture & repair stories Find a pelvic floor PT near you: https://pelvicrehab.com/ *Connect with us* Dr. Rebecca Howard Eudy Website: https://rebeccaeudy.com Instagram:   / rebeccahowardeudy   Newsletter: https://substack.com/@parentsinlove Dr. Alexandra DiGrado Website: https://bostonpelvicpt.com Instagram:   / bostonpelvicpt   Newsletter: https://bostonpelvicpt.myflodesk.com/... Under the Hood Podcast Instagram:   / underthehooddocs   Website: https://underthehoodpod.com YouTube:    / @underthehooddocs   *** If you enjoyed this episode, please follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a quick rating or review. It takes just 30 seconds, but it's one of the best ways to help our show grow and reach even more people. Thank you for listening!