People Pleasing is Self-Abandonment

Do you say yes when you want to say no? Do you worry about disappointing people, avoid conflict, apologize too much, or spend more time thinking about everyone else's needs than your own? If so, you're not alone. Most people think people pleasing is simply being too nice. I see it differently. People pleasing is a learned survival adaptation. At some point in your life, your nervous system concluded that keeping other people happy was one of the safest ways to maintain love, connection, or belonging. What once helped you navigate your circumstances may now be keeping you from living authentically. That doesn't mean you're weak or that something is wrong with you. It means your mind and body learned an intelligent strategy that no longer serves the life you're trying to create. In this video, we'll explore: • What people pleasing really is • Why it's so difficult to change • How your thoughts and nervous system keep the pattern alive • The hidden costs of continually abandoning yourself • Practical steps you can begin taking today to build a healthier relationship with yourself One of the most important ideas I hope you'll take away from this conversation is that people pleasing isn't unique. The same process can be used to understand emotional eating, procrastination, perfectionism, anxiety, overthinking, and many of the other adaptations we develop over the course of our lives. If today's conversation resonates with you, here are two places to continue. You're Not the Problem explores why these adaptations develop, how they become rooted in the nervous system, and how to create lasting change without relying on willpower. https://www.lorimontry.com/books/ Visit my website for additional videos, free resources, and opportunities to work together. https://www.lorimontry.com/ If this video was helpful, I'd love to hear from you. What part of people pleasing resonated most with your own experience? If you know someone who spends their life taking care of everyone else while leaving themselves behind, consider sharing this video with them. Remember: You're not the problem. You're the possibility.