What Really Matters? | Life, Love and Lessons for My Boys |

What is the meaning of life when you’ve spent years making a living, but still wonder about the dreams you put aside? This week, I’m thinking about what really matters, and what I want my boys to know. Join me and Tangocini Doggerino for an evening walk around Ogden Reservoir. After a family day at Comic Con in Liverpool, including an unexpected chat with Guy Pearce, the conversation takes a more personal turn as the light disappears. It started with a song. Listening again to Baz Luhrmann’s “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” got me thinking about how differently we hear music as we get older. A song you once enjoyed for its sound can suddenly feel like advice you wish you’d understood years ago. The words haven’t changed. Your life has. At college, I studied performing arts and drama. I loved it. But growing up without much money meant that earning a living and finding security became the priority. Somewhere along the way, I moved away from the thing I wanted to do. I’ve earned good money through my career, but I also recognise how often I’ve used it to try to fill the gaps. Sometimes I wonder what life might have looked like if I’d had someone behind me saying: follow your dream. That brings me back to some big questions. What makes a life worthwhile? What is love? Why can a song or a few lines of poetry say something we struggle to explain in everyday conversation? From Sunscreen to Oasis and The Verve, I talk about music, meaning and the ways we try to express what’s going on inside us. And, following my last episode about retiring at 50, I’m still thinking about the man I want to become and the example I want to set. Those thoughts led me to write a poem: “To That Lad…. And My Boys”. It’s a letter to the lad I used to be and to the two boys who call me Dad. I want to help them avoid some of my mistakes, while leaving them room to live their own lives, learn their own lessons and have their own adventures. I want them to be better men than me. And I want them to know that their dad is still learning too. For me, meaning is starting to feel like the adventure itself, the love and care we give, and helping the next generation leave the world a little better. That’s where I am today, still figuring it out as I go. THE POEM To That Lad…. And My Boys I wish I could lean across the years and whisper, “Careful here.” Tell you which choices cost too much, which chances disappear through fear. Life is a crazy roller coaster. You’ll laugh. You’ll lose. You’ll fly. There’ll be moments you wish would last forever, and others you’ll just get through and cry. I’d spare you the mistakes I made, the things I wish I’d known. But some of those, made me who I am and are lessons that I own. So borrow what I’ve learnt along the way. You needn’t learn it all through pain. But leave some room to find yourself, to fall, get up, and try again. Be a better man than me. Be kind when anger makes you hard. Be brave enough to say, “I got that wrong.” Love people with an open heart. And keep my words somewhere close, though they won’t always see you through. I’m your dad, and I’m still growing. I’m still making those mistakes too. The adventure is the gift, my boys. Give yourself time to live it. Perhaps life finds its meaning in, the love and the care we give it. And to the lad I used to be, one day, two boys will call you Dad. And you’ll hear yourself giving them advice that you wish that you’d had. You’ll want to have the answers. But, you’ll have to listen too. Boys… Lad, this ride is yours. And this circle doesn’t stop with you. JOIN THE CONVERSATION If you could give your younger self one piece of advice, what would it be? And is there a song that means something completely different to you now? Tell me in the comments. If this makes you think of someone, share it with them. ABOUT SONNY WAFFLES I’m Sonny (aka Mr DubYa). A dad, a husband, a dog owner, and a bloke in his forties trying to work out what comes next. Expect honest conversations about midlife, family, making changes and getting more out of the time we have, with a few laughs and plenty of waffles along the way. Subscribe to join me and Tango for the next chapter. Song discussed: “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)” by Baz Luhrmann #MeaningOfLife #LifeLessons #SonnyWaffles