EMOTIONS – Grant Zukel | Atmospheric Hip Hop

Dark atmospheric hip hop follows a narrator masking depression with work and smoke before finding the words to tell a friend how he really feels. Grant Zukel Music • 4K Visualizer Like & subscribe for more original music. LYRICS “How you been?” “Busy.” “That ain’t what I asked.” Been answering with work ’cause I don’t know what else to say, Got a hundred little wins I couldn’t feel at end of day. Sitting outside my own front door, let another record play, Trying to find a better mood before I step inside the place. Phone lights up; I turn it over. “Call ’em back” becomes a week, By the time I find a minute, don’t know which version of me speaks. The one that’s got a plan? The one that barely got dressed? I’ve been calling it “a long week” for a couple months, I guess. I smoke when I get home; for a moment, I can settle, Quit turning every passing thought to something I gotta wrestle. Then I’m back beside the dishes piled high around the sink, And I still don’t know what to do with half the things I think. Emotions, heavy on my chest, Getting high just to give my head a rest. Is it worth it? Everything I do? Smoke clears—same room, same view. Feels like weed’s the only thing that slows it down, But the things I never say keep coming ’round. Tired of turning “I’m not fine” into a joke— Got a chest full of words disappearing in the smoke. Had a picture of a future I was willing to work for, Now I barely leave my chair unless somebody needs more. They say, “Keep going, you got this.” I don’t know what “this” means, If I reach the thing I’m chasing with so little left of me. Paid for every bit of progress with attention, time, and sleep, Now I’m looking at receipts for things no money lets me keep. Can’t remember when I stopped making plans just for pleasure, Everything became a task or something somebody could measure. Am I doing what I love or just afraid to make a change? Have I worked myself so hard that being still just feels like shame? When I smoke, I feel a little lighter, even laugh a little while— But I miss not having to escape myself to find a smile. Emotions, heavy on my chest, Getting high just to give my head a rest. Is it worth it? Everything I do? Smoke clears—same room, same view. Feels like weed’s the only thing that slows it down, But the things I never say keep coming ’round. Tired of turning “I’m not fine” into a joke— Got a chest full of words disappearing in the smoke. I’m not just tired. I’m depressed. There. I said it. I don’t know what happens next. Got a message half-written: “You got time to talk tonight?” Deleted it, then typed it back, couldn’t get the wording right. Nearly sent a laughing face to make it seem like nothing much, Then I left it how I meant it: “Man, I’m really feeling stuck.” No big speech, no sudden answer, didn’t fix it in a line, He just called and said, “I’m here. You don’t gotta sound fine.” For a second, I stopped trying to make pain sound like a joke, Let another person hear the words I usually leave in smoke. Emotions, heavy on my chest, Getting high just to give my head a rest. Is it worth it? Everything I do? Smoke clears—same room, same view. Feels like weed’s the only thing that slows it down, But the things I never say keep coming ’round. I’m tired of turning “I’m not fine” into a joke— Tonight somebody heard the words I usually leave in smoke. Still heavy. Still don’t know. But this time… Somebody knows. Song & written lyrics: https://suno.com/song/885149b4-5934-4... #GrantZukel #AtmosphericHipHop #EmotionalRap