The Problem With Spider-Man

Brilliant news. You could never be Spider-Man... like physically. Yes, this is going to be quite the educational video today. Wall-crawling? A gecko is the maximum legal size for sticking to a wall, and you, sadly, are larger than a gecko. Web-swinging? Lovely, you've just torn your arm off at the shoulder like a rotisserie chicken. The webbing itself comes out the back end on a real spider, so do keep that in mind next time you want to shoot some webs. Though at the end I felt bad and spent the final few minutes proving you love spooderman anyway and the spider was never the point.