Why You Always Say Yes When You Want to Say No

You agreed before your brain even caught up. Here's why. Follow Sam through one week of yeses: a CV, a cat, an office party and a sofa up five flights of stairs. Along the way we look at the old programs that make "sure, no problem" fly out of your mouth, six simple ways to stop it, and the surprising thing Max says at the end. Chapters: 0:00 Five flights of stairs 0:52 Monday: the foot in the door 2:40 Tuesday: the free coffee 4:49 Wednesday: the staring meeting room 7:00 Thursday: the "Yes… damn!" effect 8:45 Friday: practicing "no" 9:12 Saturday: back on the stairs 10:01 Six things that actually help 11:32 Sam says no 12:27 What Max admits 13:25 What to remember Studies mentioned: • Freedman & Fraser (1966) – foot-in-the-door technique • Regan (1971) – reciprocity and the cola experiment • Langer, Blank & Chanowitz (1978) – the copy machine "because" study • Eisenberger, Lieberman & Williams (2003) – Cyberball and social rejection • Gilovich, Medvec & Savitsky (2000) – the spotlight effect • Gilovich, Savitsky & Medvec (1998) – the illusion of transparency • Zauberman & Lynch (2005) – the "Yes… damn!" effect • Patrick & Hagtvedt (2012) – "I don't" vs "I can't" • Givi & Kirk (2024) – turning down invitations Subscribe to Tangled Head for more psychology, drawn simple. #psychology #peoplepleasing #selfimprovement #howtosayno #boundaries #socialpsychology #mentalhealth #tangledhead