Our Wizard Polymorphed the Barkeep | Funny D&D Tavern Song & Celtic Dance (Lyrics Video)

FANTASY BARD SONGS & MEDIEVAL TAVERN MUSIC FOR ADVENTURERS "Our Wizard Polymorphed the Barkeep" — an original comedic tavern song from Mirthhall. Last night, our wizard aimed a tiny spell at his warm ale—and hit Old Bram. Now there's a goat behind the bar, and everyone's tab is on the menu. Our fighter tells the tale in a roaring Celtic D&D tavern singalong. New song every week. Tell the bard what to play next in the comments. Written and produced by Mirthhall. Vocals and instruments generated with AI (Suno). [Lyrics] I'm the crew's fighter, in dented plate; Pull up a stool and I'll tell it straight. See that ale stain there on your right? We made it here in this bar last night. Our tipsy mage frowned at his warm, foamy brew; “One tiny cantrip! A snowflake or two!” His hands shook; his ring gave the mug a sharp clink, He fumbled the words with his eyes on his drink. Blue sparks hit Old Bram as he reached for a pot, Then four hooves and horns filled that very same spot. Behind this same bar, where his apron once hung, A goat gave a bleat with some foam on his tongue. “That's Polymorph!” Our mage went white; I said, “Well, your aim was a bit to the right.” Bram sniffed at the book where he wrote what we'd pay, Then tugged one fat corner and munched it away. Our wizard turned the barkeep to a goat! (Baa! Baa!) That's Bram—I'd know that note! Keep those feet still! Hold that spell! (Roll concentration!) You're doing well! The ale runs free; come claim your own! (Pour your own!) No one drinks alone! Dance with your mates till the rafters sway! (Hey! Hey!) Let the goat have his say! Page after page went down with a chew, My tab, your tab, and the whole room's too. All debts gone! We roared till the roof shook and swayed, We poured our own ale with no bill to be paid. The dwarf opened every tap, wetting his toes, The bard sawed his fiddle as foam soaked our clothes. I clanked through a jig with my sword at my side, And the whole tavern danced in that ankle-deep tide. My greaves went clank; the wet boards went squeak, The dwarf wore a stripe of white foam on each cheek. Our mage tapped his toe, then set down his cup, I knew by that grin he was bound to climb up. Our wizard turned the barkeep to a goat! (Baa! Baa!) That's Bram—I'd know that note! Keep those feet still! Hold that spell! (Roll concentration!) You're doing well! The ale runs free; come claim your own! (Pour your own!) No one drinks alone! Dance with your mates till the rafters sway! (Hey! Hey!) Let the goat have his say! Bram hopped on the bar, four hooves to the beat, He pranced past the jugs on his neat little feet. Our mage cried, “A jig! I've got knees as well!” I caught at his cuff. “Keep hold of that spell!” He jumped up beside Bram and kicked his knees high, His hat brushed a beam as his coat tails flew by. He spun, lost concentration, and yelled, “Woo-hoo!” The glow round his hands blinked out halfway through. Pop! Bram was human, both boots on the bar, Mid-jig, with his arms spread out wide and far. He saw the soaked floor and his ledger all gone, Then slapped his wet knee and kept jigging on. He laughed, “Best night this pub's had—that goat-hour, lad! First round is free! That's how much fun I had!” He tapped on the mugs stacked high by the sink, And gave our red-faced mage one slow wink. Our wizard turned the barkeep to a goat! (Baa! Baa!) That's Bram—I'd know that note! He's back on two feet; there goes that spell! (Roll concentration!) Ah, lad—oh well! The first round's free; come claim your own! (Pour your own!) No one drinks alone! Dance with your mates till the rafters sway! (Hey! Hey!) Let Old Bram have his say! I thumped on my breastplate; he laughed at the sight, And tossed our mage soap in the warm firelight. The mage took a bow; then Bram added one thing: “And you, wizard—wash mugs from now until spring!” #celticmusic #tavernmusic #folksong #medievalmusic #dnd #bard #aimusic