Surrogate Stories: What It’s Really Like to Help Build a Family

What happens when what a surrogate wants for a birth and what the intended parents need are not the same thing? This episode is part of the Surrogate Stories, where we hand the mic to the women who make this whole thing possible. These are their journeys, their stories, in their own voices. Eloise Drane sits down with surrogates and lets them tell it start to finish: why they said yes, what carrying for another family really asked of them, and what they carried home afterward. This week, our surrogate is Gabby. She and her wife have been together seventeen years and have two sons, one carried by each of them. When they decided their own family was complete, they set a calendar reminder for a year out to be sure, and when it went off they both said the same thing. Gabby went on to carry for two intended mothers in another state, and got pregnant on the first attempt. This conversation covers a match call that felt like first date jitters and ended with both couples saying yes before anyone hung up. It covers the contract clause Gabby questioned and then accepted once she understood the fear behind it, the twenty-week scare where her wife told her plainly that this was not her baby to make decisions about, and the hardest disagreement of the journey: Gabby wanted an unmedicated birth, her OB recommended an induction that was not strictly necessary, and the intended mothers were desperate to control what could be controlled. She talks about how they worked through it, what happened in the delivery room that she did not expect, and the request the family made of her on Mother’s Day. If you are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand what it really means to carry someone else’s child and someone else’s decisions, this is the episode to listen to before you take the next step. "I’m more proud of being a surrogate than anything else in my life." -- Gabby What You’ll Learn ● How she and her wife each carried one of their own sons before she became a surrogate ● The calendar reminder they set to decide whether their family was complete ● How knowing three surrogates from her high school class shaped her agency choice ● Why she wanted the screening process to be as thorough as it was ● What she was looking for in intended parents, and what she was not ● Why both sides said yes on the match call without sleeping on it Guest Bio Gabby is a gestational surrogate, wife, and mother of two sons, one of whom she carried and one carried by her wife. She delivered a baby girl for two intended mothers in another state and is now the child’s godmother. She talks openly about the sacrifices a surrogacy journey asks of a whole family and about the moments where she had to set aside what she wanted, because she believes the honest version of this does more good than the version people see in the news. This episode is for women who are considering becoming a surrogate and want to understand the decisions, the compromises, and the relationships that a journey actually involves. Episode Resources Family Inceptions: familyinceptions.com Fertility Café: thefertilitycafe.com Instagram: Gdsikes Facebook: Gabrielle Brennan Related Episodes Body Autonomy For Surrogates and Egg Donors https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/... Bringing Equality to Reproduction https://thefertilitycafe.com/podcast/... Thinking About Becoming a Surrogate? If you’re thinking about becoming a surrogate and want to talk with a team that’s been doing this for over two decades, apply at https://familyinceptionssurrogacy.egg... Stay Connected Instagram   / fertilitycafe   Facebook   / fertilitycafe   LinkedIn   / fertility-cafe   Pinterest   / fertilitycafepodcast   TikTok   / fertilitycafepodcast   YouTube    / @fertilitycafe   More Resources Learn more about surrogacy https://familyinceptions.com/ Listen to past episodes    / @fertilitycafe