School Refusal, EBSA, and Teen Burnout: The Parent's Guide with Dr Naomi Fisher

What’s behind a teenager’s struggle to get to school—and how can parents help without turning every morning into a battle? In this episode, journalist and host Rachel Richards talks with clinical psychologist Dr. Naomi Fisher, author of The Teenagers’ Guide to Taking Control of Your Education, about school avoidance, burnout, demand avoidance, and the questions parents often have about autism and ADHD. Drawing on her own experience of struggling at school and decades of work with young people and families, Naomi challenges us to look beyond labels and ask what a teen is experiencing, what support they need, and how parents can work alongside them. They also explore the importance of connection, curiosity, and making room for young people to take an active role in their learning. In this episode, you’ll learn: What may be behind school avoidance—and how to look for specific school-day stressors rather than assuming a child is simply refusing. How to work with your teen, not against them, while still acknowledging that education needs to happen. What burnout can look like and why stepping back may help some teenagers recover. How to think about demand avoidance and autism or ADHD diagnoses without letting labels replace curiosity about what a young person needs. Why following a teen’s interests and repairing your connection matter—especially when school has become a source of conflict. For more detailed notes and help on this go to my Fearless Parenting Substack Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message. Please don't hesitate to seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping. There's no shame in reaching out for support. When you look after yourself your entire family benefits. Find all the tips from the episode on Substack: My email teenagersuntangled@gmail.com My website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me Instagram Facebook 00:00 Why teens struggle with school: introducing Dr. Naomi Fisher 01:24 Naomi Fisher’s experience with school refusal 05:43 School refusal vs. emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) 08:08 When school distress is mistaken for a medical problem 10:58 First steps for parents facing school avoidance 13:10 Why the move to secondary school can be overwhelming 15:09 Getting your teen on the same side about school 18:00 Teen burnout: what chronic stress can look like 20:36 Do teenagers need time to recover from education burnout? 23:43 Demand avoidance and the PDA debate 26:31 Supporting teens with high support and realistic expectations 30:45 Should you seek an autism or ADHD assessment? 35:09 Supporting an angry or struggling neurodivergent teen 37:38 Helping teenagers take control of their own learning 42:32 Why parents catastrophize about their teen’s future 45:00 Are we overmedicalizing teen struggles and under-supporting distress? 47:36 What parents can do when their teen refuses school