Why You End Up Apologizing (Even When It's Not Your Fault)

Have you ever walked into a calm conversation to talk about something that hurt you, only to walk out ten minutes later apologizing for even bringing it up? That confusing reversal isn’t random. In this video, we break down DARVO - a predictable psychological manipulation tactic identified by psychologist Jennifer Freyd. DARVO stands for: • Deny: Dismissing what happened or making you doubt your own memory. • Attack: Shifting the focus from the action to your character, tone, or motives. • Reverse Victim and Offender: Flipping the roles so the person who caused the hurt becomes the injured party, leaving you to comfort them. Explore why our brains get overwhelmed during these conversations, why outside observers fall for this sequence, and the single psychological trigger that weakens the trick every time. If you enjoy thoughtful breakdowns on psychology, human behavior, and emotional patterns, make sure to subscribe to channel for more quiet reflections. Have you ever experienced this pattern in a relationship, friendship, or workplace? Let's talk about it in the comments below. This video is educational. It isn't a diagnosis of any person or relationship. #psychology #DARVO #relationships #communication #mentalhealth ---- Sources: Freyd, J. J. (1997). Violations of power, adaptive blindness and betrayal trauma theory. Feminism & Psychology, 7(1), 22–32. Harsey, S. J., Zurbriggen, E. L., & Freyd, J. J. (2017). Perpetrator responses to victim confrontation: DARVO and victim self-blame. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 26, 644–663. Harsey, S. J., & Freyd, J. J. (2020). Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender (DARVO): What is the influence on perceived perpetrator and victim credibility? Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 29, 897–916. Harsey, S. J., & Freyd, J. J. (2023). The influence of Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender and insincere apologies on perceptions of se_ual assault. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260523116...