Choosing Yourself Isn't Selfish (It's Self-Respect)

Healthy boundaries aren't about controlling other people. They're about protecting yourself, and that can be hard to do when you grew up feeling responsible for everyone else's emotions. In this video, I share what I learned about boundaries from growing up caught between my parents' conflicts, feeling responsible for my mother's happiness and feeling like my father's therapist. It took therapy for me to realize I was carrying emotional weight that was never mine. We talk about the difference between supporting someone and becoming responsible for their problems, how boundaries are choices about access to you, and why self-respect and self-loyalty matter. "The love for yourself has to be greater than your fear of losing someone else." "Are you asking people to choose you when you're not even choosing yourself?" Your question: Where in your life have you been carrying weight that was never yours? Tell me in the comments. CHAPTERS 0:00 Boundaries aren't about controlling people 0:49 What my family taught me about boundaries 1:33 Caught in the middle of my parents' conflicts 2:04 The therapy moment: weight that wasn't mine 3:17 Support versus responsibility 4:10 Boundaries versus control 5:18 Self-loyalty and choosing yourself 7:00 Loving yourself more than fearing loss 7:59 The question to sit with If this one resonated, you might also like: Boundaries Are Part of Becoming Who You Are    • Boundaries Are Part of Becoming Who You Are   ✨ Continue becoming with me: Read The Art of Becoming on Substack: https://substack.com/@faiecleveland Download the free How to Become the Person You Want to Be workbook: https://payhip.com/b/bHW9X Explore Not Her Anymore: https://payhip.com/b/1lswR Follow along on Instagram:   / faie.cleveland   Subscribe here on YouTube and join me as we discover, become, and be free.    / @faiecleveland1111   A beautiful place to become. #HealthyBoundaries #EmotionalBoundaries #SelfRespect