Psychology of Silence: Say Nothing and Watch People Tell You Everything

We look at Tanya Stivers and colleagues’ 2009 study of turn-taking across ten languages, which found a typical gap of about a fifth of a second between speakers. We walk through Koudenburg, Postmes and Gordijn’s 2011 finding that a four-second silence made people feel less included. We cover Kipling Williams’s 2000 ostracism research, Diana Tamir and Jason Mitchell’s 2012 study showing people give up money to talk about themselves, and Mary Budd Rowe’s work showing that a three-second wait changes classroom answers. We use these findings to explain why silence feels loud, and to give three principles for using it without making anyone feel ignored. Which of the 3 is yours: the Three-Count, Stay Warm in the Quiet, or Hand Back the Last Words? Tell me in the comments. #Nyxx #PsychologyOfSilence #Psychology #Communication #SocialSkills #SelfAwareness Research referenced: Tanya Stivers et al. (2009), Max Planck Institute for Psycholinguistics, PNAS: turn-taking gaps across languages Namkje Koudenburg, Tom Postmes, Ernestine Gordijn (2011), University of Groningen, Journal of Experimental Social Psychology: four-second silence and belonging Kipling Williams, Christopher Cheung, Wilma Choi (2000), Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: Cyberball and ostracism Diana Tamir and Jason Mitchell (2012), Harvard University, PNAS: the reward of self-disclosure Mary Budd Rowe (1970s work, summarized 1986), University of Florida, Journal of Teacher Education: wait time This video is for educational purposes only and is not professional psychological or medical advice. If you are struggling, please speak with a licensed professional.