Frustration and Expectations in Relating to Others, in the Spiritual Life and Non Duality (Advaita)

Frustration and Expectations in Relating to Others in Spiritual Life and Non-Duality (Advaita) Expectations are a fundamental issue in the spiritual life, whatever path you are following. Frustration, and also criticism, reveal a conscious or subconscious expectation that is not being met. If a partner, spouse, friend, child, or anyone else does not behave as we expect, the emotion that follows is usually frustration, and criticism may soon arise too. It is so very human, right? The Surrendering Technique can be used to surrender the negative emotion (frustration) as soon as you become aware of it, and this is already a VERY valuable step. However, there is deeper work that "you" can do: identify the expectation underneath the frustration and surrender it too. When frustration is present, consciously or unconsciously there is an expectation that the other person should act or be different. Once "you" have identified the underlying expectation, there are two basic directions. The first one is projection: aligning with the ego by believing "your" expectation is right and blaming the other person or trying to change them. The second option is taking responsibility: recognizing, “This is THIS BODY-MIND's expectation,” regardless of what the other person does. And then, instead of trying to change them, surrender the expectation to the Divine. Here is the Surrendering Technique: “This expectation is surrendered now to the Divine completely, completely, completely. Please take it away forever, forever, forever. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” By surrendering these types of expectations, the mind-body system grows in unconditional acceptance -- willingness to accept the other person as he or she is. And unconditional acceptance is the foundation of unconditional love. Human relationships, especially the couple relationship, offer continual opportunities for this growth because every person has imperfections. Our mind-body systems do not naturally love unconditionally; it is something "we" repeatedly choose. The imperfections of a partner, child, friend, or relative are therefore opportunities to stop the automatic demanding perfection and grow in unconditional love. Whenever frustration or criticism appears, identify the expectation beneath it and surrender it. This is a concrete metaphysical act of commitment: “'I' want to love this person as he or she is, not as 'I' want him or her to be.” When the expectation is released, the associated frustration disappears. And then, if the same behavior appears again, it will no longer trigger frustration because acceptance has replaced resistance, to what "you" cannot change. And be sure, we can’t go through life trying to change others to fit our ways and expect to be happy, or even mentally healthy!” In trying to perfect the other person, we may, perhaps, succeed at changing their behavior, but this does not necessarily create growth in "us." The purpose of relationships — including most especially the couple relationship — is not to change him or her, but to grow in unconditional love. This remains important on the path of Advaita. Non-Duality does not make the opening of the heart irrelevant. Learning to love unconditionally supports expansion of Consciousness like no other vibration -- unconditional love is profoundly expansive. There is also a deeper mystical dimension to expectations: surrendering conscious or subconscious expectations that true, stable Happiness can or will be obtained through achievements in the world — in the “movie,” through objects appearing in front of us, as Consciousness. These expectations make complete detachment and dis-identification VERY difficult or impossible. But this deeper aspect deserves a separate video. "We" cannot successfully move through life trying to make everyone conform to our preferences. Identify the hidden expectation underneath frustration and surrender it. Every time "you" succeed at this, "you" are committing to loving unconditionally and attracting countless blessings. One of the most fundamental purposes of coming to Earth and having a human experience is to grow our mind-body system in unconditional love. For those wanting to do deep spiritual work with their expectations, coaching sessions can provide focused support. To schedule a session with Gian, please find his contact information below. Gian’s email: GianGirardi@iCloud.com Gian’s WhatsApp: +56 9 4236-0977 Awakening Protocol: https://giangirardi.com/el-protocolo-...