When Your Feelings Take Over: Finding Space to Choose Your Response

We often hear that we can't control how we feel, but we can choose how we respond. It's something I say myself, but I also know that putting it into practice isn't always easy. About fifteen months ago, I nearly missed out on an opportunity because I didn't feel confident enough to take it on. I initially said no, but after some encouragement, I reconsidered. It turned out to be an experience I'm incredibly glad I had. It made me think about how much our emotions can influence our decisions, sometimes without us even realising it. Fear might make us turn down something we'd actually enjoy, frustration might make us resist a perfectly reasonable request, and guilt might lead us to agree to something when we've already got enough on our plate. In this episode of _The Purposeful Shift_, I'm exploring what happens when our first emotional reaction starts influencing what we do next. I share some of my own experiences of anxiety, frustration, and learning to recognise when my interpretation of a situation might not be the whole story. I also draw on psychologist James Gross's research into emotion regulation, Jack Brehm's theory of psychological reactance, and neuroscientist Joel Pearson's work on intuition. We look at why being told what to do can make us want to push back, how considering another perspective might change the way we feel, and why finding space to process our emotions looks different for everyone. Because choosing how we respond doesn't necessarily mean waiting until we feel completely calm or certain. Sometimes we have to make decisions while we're still feeling uncomfortable. A moment to reflect As you listen, you might like to consider: Think about a recent situation where you experienced a strong emotional reaction. What was your immediate instinct, and might there have been something else influencing how you felt at the time? Is there an opportunity, decision, or conversation you're currently avoiding because you genuinely don't want it, or because you're worried about what might happen if you give it a go? There's no right answer, and you don't need to question every feeling you have. But sometimes giving ourselves a little space to consider what's happening can help us make a decision that feels more considered. Reflect & Connect - upcoming events If you'd like to make a little more time for reflection and connection, I'm hosting *Reflect & Connect*, a series of free monthly online journaling sessions in October, November, and December. I'm also offering in-person 'walk and talk' sessions at various locations across the South West of England. You can find booking details for upcoming events on Eventbrite, and keep up with the latest news and opportunities by subscribing to The Purposeful Shift newsletter. Visit https://thepurposefulshift.co.uk to find out more. Thank you for listening, and for choosing to spend some of your day with me.