If RONALDO Went to the MLS 😱

Ronaldo opens the chat with one question and never stops asking it. Where is Messi. He is going to America and he wants two things: the number of teams he has to beat, and Messi's address. Nobody gives him either. Suarez says "a few". Muller says "more than you think". Son says thirty by accident and gets told off for ruining the bit. Along the way Ronaldo finds out about the five hour flights, the plastic pitches, and the playoffs — which mean that finishing first gets you a shield, and the cup goes to whoever wins a knockout after that. He calls it stupid. Everyone agrees it is stupid. Everyone stays anyway. His first game he scores twice, and then someone asks how many people were in the stadium. The answer to the only question he actually cared about comes last. Messi left. Last week. While Ronaldo was signing. He went to Barcelona. Photos from Wikimedia Commons under free licences: Ronaldo by Bryan Berlin (CC BY 4.0), Suarez by Ilya Khokhlov (CC BY-SA 3.0), Muller by Steindy (CC BY-SA 3.0), Son by Crofab (CC BY-SA 3.0), Busquets by Palacio de la Moncloa (Attribution). Club badge is a trademark of its club. Fan-made satire, not affiliated with or endorsed by MLS, Al Nassr or any player. #football #groupchat #ronaldo