Counteroffer || Isabella Returns || Disasters and Shenanigans || Save the Princess
The Tanzanite Bard
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Counteroffer || Isabella Returns || Disasters and Shenanigans || Save the Princess
10 692 просмотра · 1 месяц назад
The Tanzanite Bard
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10 692 просмотра · 1 месяц назад
Isabella returns and she's helping Elias Save the Princess.
[Verse 1]:
Aurelia's grandfather
Made a little deal,
Promised her to the King of Hell
And stamped it with his seal.
Aurelia thinks it's a lovely place.
She's thrilled to be down here.
She asked about all the
Curst interior decor
Elias looks exhausted.
I can see that he is nearly done.
But we have the ring,
We found the door,
But I came for that book.
[Pre-Chorus]
So give us back the girl,
And hand me down the tome.
And maybe we all leave tonight
Without me blessing Hell's old home.
[Verse 2]
He smiles and says,
"Her freedom has a price.
A heart for a heart
Would make the bargain very nice."
Oh, sweetheart, no.
You cannot have what's spoken for.
My Love got there first,
And I don't lend it out anymore.
But since we're making bargains,
Let me point out what I see—
A legendary necromancer's book
I think it should belong to me.
[Pre-Chorus]
You want a deal?
How wonderful.
I enjoy a fair exchange.
You give me what I asked for.
Or I make some improvements
to your place.
[Chorus]
Here's my counteroffer:
Give me the book.
Give me the girl.
And no one has to scream.
You want my heart?
Sorry, darling.
That belongs to another.
So give me the book.
Give me the girl.
Or things will start
getting heavenly.
[Verse 3]
He's laughing?
That's disappointing...
I place one hand
Against the floor
And let the sacred light begin to pour.
Gold along the marble.
White fire through the stacks.
Blessings in the bindings.
Holy sigils down the cracks.
The first aisle starts to shimmer.
The second starts to sing.
Every curst shelf is groaning
At the hymns my power brings.
Elias is looking quite horrified at me.
[Chorus]
Here's my counteroffer:
Give me the book.
Give me Aurelia.
And maybe I will stop.
But I have cleared
Three wicked wings
And I'm not inclined to drop.
You wanted my heart?
Sorry, darling.
That belongs to another.
So give me the book.
Give me the girl.
Or I bless floor number three.
[Verse 4]
The demon king stopped smiling.
We're finally getting through.
He says,
"You cannot threaten me
With things a cleric would not do."
Now normally I have standards.
I have rules about the dead.
Consent and care and dignity
Are things I keep inside my head.
But demons are exempt.
So if I must become creative,
I could always use another pet.
[Break]
Give me the book.
[Verse 5]
More shelves glow.
More wards break.
All the ceiling runes turn bright.
The whole infernal castle
Is becoming a holy site.
Every floor is hallowed.
Every hallway is sanctified.
Every whispering curst portrait
Now sings with Heaven lodged inside.
"Mote, sweetheart, you're all right."
That didn't help.
He's shaking more.
It's fair.
I've had that effect before.
[Bridge]
Normally,
I am merciful.
And I spare everyone.
But you stole the girl,
Tried naming your price,
And thought yourself clever,
because you asked for my heart.
So now the bargain runs the other way:
The book,
The girl,
And keep your hands off my heart.
[Final Chorus]
That's my counteroffer:
The choice is nearly gone.
The whole damned castle
Is sacred now,
And I can keep this going on.
Give me the book.
Give me the girl.
And don't try to negotiate with me.
Now somewhere in the dark,
The Holy House in Hell
still shines on.